Looking back, Moving Foward

In less than eight hours, 2009 will be history. All the good, bad, and the ugly of 2009 will be ceremoniously put away into a brand spanking shiny new year. Here's a look at the top ten moments of 2009 from my life.

1. Finishing my first year of law school
2. Buying Zimba, my beautiful puppy
   
3. Meeting Brown Eyes
4. Getting a summer law clerk position
5. Reconnecting with lost friends
6. Becoming more confident in who I am
7. Burying the hatchet with Dad- he is now on speaking terms with me, although he still has a tendency to annoy me.
8. Realizing for the first time how much I wish to be a lawyer
   
9. Getting closer to my mom
   
10. Mastering risotto 

I'm off to celebrate the new year with Brown Eyes. Be on the look out for the new blog format coming out in 2009.

IN with the new,

P. Manolos

1. 
   

ABC Nightline Special

Black Single Women Special on ABC


This is a fantastic video. A good glimpse into the lives of African-American women.

Thought of the Day

Five more days until 2009 is over. Thank God, 2009 wasn't exactly a walk in the park.

I can't wait to start the new year. My family has a little tradition where my mom cleans the whole house before the New Year to make sure we enter the year without any of the baggage of the old year. It's symbolism of course, but I can't help but to think it's a damn good idea. I'll probably spend most of next week cleaning my house and working on law school stuff for the new year. On a related note, have a very happy new year. Oh, btw- it's also five more days until I reveal the new blog format.


New Year, new blog,

P. Manolos

Lumps in my Cream of Wheat..

Every morning, I have a bowl of hot, steaming cream of wheat. It's my favorite thing to eat at breakfast besides pancakes, not to mention it's the quickest.

Well, if you don't watch the pot carefully, you end up with huge lumps in your hot  cereal. Not good. I'll eat it anyways for the sake of the economy.

Two dogs, one girl. Sounds kinky huh? Well it's not a porno but a horror story where I'm caught in the middle of a 12 year old toy poodle and a 7 month minpin who thinks he rules the whole house? Let's cut to the chase and say that one of them is driving me crazy and it's not the old lady. Zimba is the constant socialite and is trying to get to know CC. All she wants to do is bite his head off. It must be love.


My lovely lady lumps?

P. Manolos

P.S.- Happy Xmas Eve

What's on my I-Pod?

What's on my I-Pod..........

1. Lady Gaga-  Monster & Bad Romance
2. Rihanna- Whippin' My Hair, Single, & So Hard
3. Kei$ha- Tik Tok
4. Shakira- She Wolf
5. Successful- Drake feat. Lil'Wayne
6. Mona Lisa- Nat King Cole
7. Jay-Z- Already Home
8. Fly Above-Kandi
9. Timbaland- Morning After Dark
10. Britney Spears- 3 (one, two, three)

Called the doctor's office to see about some test results. Must be awesome to be a doctor, you hardly ever have to be in the office and you get to keep collecting checks.

Nightbefore Nightbefore Xmas,

P. Manolos

Today's Obssession

Jersey Shore reality show. Bad television... so bad it's too good to be true. MTV has finally gotten its mojo back with this show. Who knew that Real World would become so passe?

Guidette In Training
P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

There are no jobs.


I received an email from a good friend of mine who recently graduated from grad school (Congrats honey! Love ya!). She is battling the bad economy in hopes of finding a job.  I felt disheartened to hear that she felt that she hadn't accomplished much at all.

When I wrote her back, I gave her the pep talk. I encouraged her to celebrate all of the accomplishments she has made in her life- graduation honors at undergrad, graduating from the top MSES school in the US, and all of the summer jobs she held before and after Dominican. There are so many people in this world who can't say the same thing, they haven't gone to college or finished grad school.

Be encouraged. If you're still looking for a job or in the midst of finishing school, celebrate your accomplishments and see your goals as a challenge and not an obstacle. In the end, life tends to unfold the way it should.

Be Encouraged,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I kind of miss that time when Zimba slept all day after his castration surgery... He didn't have the energy to chew up my oven mitts...

Zimba is pretty sick of all of the work I have had to do the last four weeks. He's acting out by ripping things apart and just being a little douche bag. I just need one more day and I'll have my paper written and the semester finished.



Wrapping things up,

P. Manolos

Picture of the Day

Zimba was such a sweet baby. He sat for ten minutes while I took pictures of him in front of the Christmas tree. I couldn't ask for a better companion.

Happy Howlidays!

Pink Manolos

Thought of the Day

Christmas is next week and I can't get much for anyone. It's just how it is being a student, you have to spend within your means. I'm going to go out with my girlfriends today and spend some time catching up with each other. I then plan to run over to the mall and see if I can find a couple of gifts and then straight home to work on my paper.

Not quite done with law school...

P. Manolos

Grown-Up Christmas List

No, this isn't filled with wishes for peace and goodwill. Just the material stuff.

1. Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel Perfume and Body Set- It's my signature fragrance and they only sell sets during Christmas time.
2. Gift Certificate to Phia Hair Salon- That's where I get my hair done on a weekly basis. 
3. Cashmere Sweater from Jcrew- Black preferably
4. Fuzzy Socks
5. MAC Lipglass in Viva Glam #5
6. Doggie Carry Bag for Zimba
7. Gift Certificate to American Apparrel
8. Harry Potter Movie #6
9. Coach Leather Purse
10. More time with my Brown Eyes....

I'm off to bake some sugar cookies. After all, we only have nine more days until Christmas.


Baking Away,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I'm finished with my exams... timed ones anyways. I just have a paper to write for Friday and them I'm home free. I couldn't even get out of bed this morning I was so freaking tired. Didn't help that Brown eyes kept waking me up in the middle of the night with his snoring. Did I mention I saw the latest Harry Potter? I was so disappointed I didn't get to see it in theaters, but after watching what I saw last night I think it's a good thing I didn't waste my money on it. I can't believe how far away from the book they got on this one. The only good aspect of the movie was the director. Very artistic footage, just sucks that they tore the whole sixth book into shreds.

Somewhat free...

P. Manolos

One Last Time...

In twelve minutes, I get to take my last timed exam of the semester. I've got a paper to write, but I'm overjoyed at the prospect of sitting at home with Z writing about rape and patriarchy.


Thank God,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I'm pretty annoyed that I haven't hear from Brown Eyes today. On the upside, I'll be half-way finished with law school tomorrow at 5pM. And at 5:05 I'll be across the street at Eddie's drinking my favorite martini and eating a delicious half-price appetizer.


Workin' Hard for the Money,

P. Manolos

Mayfair Lady

I don't care enough about you to kill you. - Mike Delfino

I love prime time television. Among one of the many shows I love is "Desperate Housewives." Thanks to DVR I can watch it whenever I want. This week's (or last week I can't recall, I didn't watch the show when it aired) was the huge finale before the next half of the season starts in January. Mark Cherry told us we would get a plane crash on Wisteria Lane, but who knew the more interesting story would be a middle aged woman stabbing herself?

That story was Katherine Mayfair. Katherine was going insane this whole season after she broke up with Mike when he (surprise surprise) remarried his ex-wife Susan. At first it seemed comical, every Sunday night she hatched a different plot to get him back. She even made a fake plumbing call just so she could get him to come over her house in the middle of the night. Stalking, lying, gossip, whatever she could find she tried to use to get "her" man back.

It all seemed so comical and desperate until last week she attempted to get Mike's kid to believe his own mother stole Mike away from her. Mike was Mr. Nice Guy until that very moment. He hadn't confronted her this whole season, he was the quiet reclusive husband who felt sorry for his jilted-middle aged fling. He finally snapped when he realized the only person that could end her fantasy of getting him back was him.

Well, bravo for him, but never tell a woman it's over when she has a chef's knife in her hand. (It is a large knife and I'm using the correct term- a butcher's knife is wider and more of a square- sorry former knives saleswoman here...) We find out next week that Katherine stabs herself and ends up in the hospital, blaming Mike for wounding her-when the wounds were actually self-inflicted.

Things begin to unravel and Katherine lies in a hospital bed only to find her world beginning to crash around her. Her daughter finds out that her mother lied to her- Katherine was never married to Mike, they weren't living happy together and Susan never tried to stab her. It's in that moment that I realize I don't find this situation very funny after all- it's too close to home to make me laugh.

Why, you say? Because I see so much of the same pain I experienced last year in Katherine and I can understand why she did it. Now before you 51/50 me, let me explain.

A year ago, I too felt a stabbing pain. I felt my whole world crash around me as Mr. Passion left. I too had the future planned out- the holidays we would spend together, birthday cakes I would make and the weekends we would spend holding each other. He moved on and I was still in this place where I felt like we had something special. Even when I knew he was with someone else I just thought maybe things could change. It was like I was my own worst enemy, hoping that I hadn't lost something so precious to such a dirty, callous, horrible son of a.... well, you know.

It was only through time, support, and good friends that I was able to pull the plug and give myself a reality check. I gave myself time to grieve and separate reality from the 'dream'. Each time nostalgia would try to seep in I gave myself a push towards indifference. He is gone and frankly he wasn't that much to be excited about when he was here.

I think that was the only difference between Katherine and I. She didn't have the support of others and enough distance to know when to nail the coffin on her relationship with Mike. If her friends had only reached out to her sooner she wouldn't have needed her daughter to place her in a psych ward. If someone would have stopped to realize her 'connection' with Mike hadn't ended, she would have ended up in a much happier place. Instead her dreams and pain swallowed up the reality that sat before her eyes- he had moved on and married the woman he truly loved as she put her life on hold in hopes that if she waited long enough, her dreams could come back into play.

I turned in my Civil Procedure exam on Friday. I ran up and threw my exam in the box and went back to my chair only to realize I was within five inches of Mr. Passion as he turned in his. And you know what? I could care less. Of course I still dislike him, he was a bad human being for what he did and if karma is a bitch he'll get his in the end. What really amazed me was all I could think about was how Brown Eyes drove to my house and back to get my book, which I had forgotten on the kitchen counter literally 40 mins before my test. My dream come true was a 6 foot 1 catholic boy who would do anything he can to help me.

Moments like that, when I realize how lucky I am to have such a great man by my side make me realize how close I was to losing it all for a sniveling, angry, bitter boy who didn't have the courage to end things like a man.


Not-so-desperate House life,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

If you've got something to say, say it to my face.

That is all. I should have never opened my email this morning. Something kept telling me not to, but of course I didn't listen to the voice in my head. I've got to get back to Zen before my final this afternoon.


Be Aggressive. Not Passive Aggressive,

P. Manolos.

Thought of the Day

This sucks, I'm feeling sick and I have two weeks until I'm completely free from finals. Thus far I only finished my note rough draft, I still have yet to finish studying for BA, Tax and Civil Procedure. FML.


Study AIDS,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Worst day ever.

-P. Manolos

Moment of The Day

One of my law school professors told us even if we aren't where we wanted to be in our careers, we have a chance to get there in the future. (Bad economy = no legal jobs). I couldn't help but cry. I'm not where I want to be, and I hope his advice turns out true and I get there someday.


Teary-Eyed,

P.Manolos

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

* Langston Hughes

I too, wonder what happens to a dream deferred. I'm one of those people who truly believe that dreams are hopes and desires from our subconscious rising to the surface at night. Last night, I had the strangest dream. It was the day of my wedding and I decided to cancel it. Children came to the door and asked if Miss Williamson was still getting married today. My parents told them no, but instead of a wedding how about a trip to Chunky Cheese? Everyone seemed pretty relieved and I was one of the first to hop into the car and leave for the restaurant.

Runaway bride? How could I? The girl who would plan weddings just for the kick of it pro bono has a pair of Nike swishes under her garter? I don't think my dream meant that I don't want to get married. I think something deep inside of me is just saying "Hey, this whole wedding thing can wait, how about some fun instead?" A conditioned response from a society that is hooked on that free love sauce and can't seem to shake the habit- cows not only give milk for free, men don't even have to bring a bucket to get their fill.

Will I get married someday? I don't know and I believe I no longer care as much as I did in the past. Why? The Modern Man of course. The modern man that I am presented today as a husband is lacking everything a man of honor should have in his character tool box. I lament the days of old where men understood how precious a woman's honor was and how they aspired to "have it all" in the form of a three bedroom house with a wife and kids. Modern man is never satisfied with his life, he must have it all at all times no matter how vomit worthy a 40-year old man looks with a 18 year old fetus walking the strip. Its as if all the men of this world woke up one day and decided that aging gracefully and accepting the various stages of life was a repudiation of everything that is good and wholesome about humanity.

Who can we blame? The women of the feminist movement who thought they could fuck like men, live like men, and wake up one day in their own three bedroom house with kids. Magic. Let's just skip the whole no means no and attempt to run with the big dogs at their own sexist game. Little did they know that their freedom to fuck men has fucked many traditional women like myself who wish to keep their honor intact until they can wear a white gown without the guests at the wedding blushing.

Modern man has fucked today's woman because today's woman listened to yesterday's feminist about the virtues of the unlimited fuck. The unlimited fuck has caused me to wake up in a cold sweat when I dream about the children that will have to wait until I am done visiting Chunky Cheese. A woman in her mid-twenties going to Chunky Cheese when she should be figuring out which color the bridesmaids look the worst in. But alas, I like my brother Langston Hughes will chalk this dream up as deferred... until it explodes like a Raisin in the Sun.

Dreaming an Impossible Dream,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

It's December, already?


Another year goes by. I must say, this year was probably the most tulmultous year of my life. Full of ups, downs, and sideways. I hope 2010 is a much kinder year for me.


Decemburrr,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Don't ask me to answer my phone if you won't do the same. I'm just sayin'

Double Standards,
P. Manolos

Zimba's Christmas List

He hijacked the computer just to write this list up... I'm serious, he told me to do it or my black Italian leather Coach pumps will "get it".

1. Dog Bag- I need one for the long car rides Mom likes to take me on, and to sit in when she drops in the coffee shop to grab her daily crack juice.
2. Giant Bone- Something bigger than me, but I can still chew on with ease. I'm chopping on something as we type right now.
3. New Doggie Bowls- Something black, sleek, and stylish. Just like me.
4. Dog sweater- Neutrals please, to match my fur tones :)
5. New Black Leash- Mommy's Brown Eyes lost my old one, it even had a matching doggie bone poop bag dispenser :-(
6. Harness- Size small, black, comfortable one.
7. Dog bed comforter- I need one that will fit in my crate so I can sleep on something soft at night.
8. Doggie treats- I'm almost out of dog biscuits.
   
9. Grooming gift certificate- I need my nails cut ASAP!
10. Squeaky toys- They are my favorite! I tend to rip them apart after a month or two...

Gone to the Dogs,

P. Manolos

New Layout

In less than 30 days, I'll have a new layout for Pink Manolos. Trust me, it's a must see :)!


Full of Surprises,

P. Manolos

Cold Feet

Zimba and I just got home from the dog park. He had a blast running around with a 2 year old houndog mutt. The weather has finally gotten colder today- brisk 38 degrees. I'm glad I enjoyed the fifty degree weather while it lasted.

I'm done procrastinating (for now). I have to get back to work and try to finish this note draft before Brown Eyes gets back tomorrow from West Virginia.


Burrrr,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

My sister came home for Thanksgiving. She looks great, she's been exercising and eating right. She's lost about 12 dress sizes. I only wish she would lose the attitude.


Stuffed,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Any website listing brand new Manolo Blanhiks under $500.00 is probably a fake....

Just sayin!

P. Manolos

Life Isn't Fair

Have you ever heard that saying from your parents? "Life isn't fair." They usually give this response when we do all the right things, but come up with an unfair result. Like when we practice really hard for a sport but still end up losing the game or studying for a test and still ending up on the lower end of the grading scale.

Well, that's because "Life Isn't Fair."

Last weekend marked one year since my run in with Mr. Passion. All of the good times, bad times, and my eventual breakdown happened around this time last year. The family drama, the broken friendships, and my broken heart all seemed to center around the holiday season. It was around this time last year I had to grapple with my own feelings of how life truly wasn't fair. I had done everything I could to make my relationship work with Mr. Passion, my family, and my friends only to find them shattered into a million pieces. In February, the unfairness factor seemed to rise as I saw Mr. Passion move on into a new relationship with someone else. I can't be angry at her, she had no part in what happened between the two of us. I have times where I wonder why the hell things are working so well for them and our relationship was a total failure. I can never let the feelings of resentment and bitterness overwhelm my inner knowledge of what is right and just.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that life isn't fair.

Things don't always work out in life- friends, boyfriends, classes and even our ongoing relationship with our parents. It's not that we didn't try hard or something is wrong with ourselves per se- it's just how life tends to unravel itself. Bad things happen to good people and bad people can enjoy the goodness we seem to lack in our lives. It is when we start to internalize feelings of inadequacy from our life experiences that the unfairness becomes a roadblock instead of a roadside attraction.

A year later, after all of the tears, life threatening thoughts, and resentment towards third party bystanders, I have found myself in a place where life is a bit fairer. I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and is everything a girl could ask for. He is intelligent, kind, funny, and an absolute sweetheart. I would have never found him if I had kept all of anger I felt towards Mr. Passion and his new life inside of me. I don't think I would have been open for new opportunities had I not let go of the feelings I had towards him.

I have to let go, but I will never forget. We should never forget the pain we experience in life. We should be able to understand it, embrace it, and express it when the time is appropriate. I do have some anger towards him and the gift I lost during our relationship. Rightfully so, any woman in my position would feel the same. I do however, feel sorry for him in the fact that he has no true understanding of the reckless, cold hearted, and borderline evil actions he took last year.

Each day is a new day, and with it I let go a piece of the past to grab a hold of what is thus far a very bright, and fulfilling future. Good things happen to bad people, but bad people have one thing that they will discover in the end. Life isn't fair after all...

Your Fair Lady,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Another busy weekend. Spent a lot of time with Brown Eyes, he and I will be a part for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I had no clue how much he was going to miss me until he asked me to spend the day with him today. We went to dinner and a movie last night. He was aghast at how intensely focused I am when I get into the movie theatre. I can't help it - I'm like a kid when I go to the movie theatre. A ten year old girl was sitting next to me and she was pretty pissed off by my gasps and oohs. I wanted to turn to her and say, well sorry for having an imagination.

Thinking,

P. Manolos

Surprises

I love them :)

P. Manolos

Echos

I'm in my carrel. Working on my oral argument for Appellate Advocacy tonight. I just want to wing this thing, I have no interest in preparing whatsoever. It's just one of those days I guess where you lack motivation and you just want to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. Late to class, bored in class, and released early from my last class of the day.

Life is going well. My sister sent me her itinerary for her return from CA to OH for Thanksgiving. I can't say that I'm happy to see her. We haven't talked in a year and I want it to stay that way. We don't see eye to eye on anything and she feels the need to constantly criticize me. I'm already under a ton of pressure at school and with the rest of my family, I don't need another voice telling me I can't do it.

Just a week ago, a professor and I sat down to talk about my paper subject only for him to randomly mention that I, Elizabeth Michelle Williamson " will never be a Supreme Court Justice, or even a good attorney, but perhaps you [me] could find a career in public service." I was in such shock that I didn't even object to his assertion that I was somehow too mentally deficient to become a lawyer.

Law school is an echo chamber of negativity. I can sometimes use it as fuel, but there are other days where I just end up running on empty. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? But how much of "it" does it take to overcome our strength to leave us weak and shattered?

I hope I don't find out.

Boxed in,

P. Manolos

Rated-R

I'm loving Rihanna's new cd. It's a great listen for any independent, sexy young woman who loves life and lives on the edge. I didn't like her at all when she first arrived on the music scene, but I feel like she has grown tremendously in the past few years.


Dancing Like There's No Tomorrow,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I just want to sleep in til 9, but I guess puppies aren't built for that...

Zimba has to get up by 7AM to go to the bathroom. Poor thing, he has such a small bladder he holds it for as long as he can at night. It just sucks that we humans often stay up so late that getting up at 7AM for a 7lb canine is torture.


Sleepytime,

P. Manolos

Ear Cropping

Not going to crop of Z's ears. It seems cruel and unnecessary. Zimba isn't a show dog and even if he was, why the hell do they think it's ok to mutilate a dog for the sake of fashion?


Doggone it,

P. Manolos

Home

I went home today to help out my parents with housework. My mom is hanging in there, but still sick. She had a doctor's appointment a week ago because of her shoulder. Turns out she had a calcium deposit and was given steriods for the pain. Osteoporosis. It's like she's collecting problems these days. Hysterectomy last fall, heart failure ongoing, and no Osteoporosis. The only bright side was how upbeat she is about life in general. In five months, she will be celebrating her sixtieth birthday. I plan to do something pretty fabulous for her- Pink Manolos Style

There's no place like home,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

It's 65 degrees in November. Global warming or just a coincidence?

Zimba and I are enjoying the warmer weather. We go for runs, spend time outside playing with leaves and puppy fighting until he passes out on the couch. I couldn't have asked for a better companion.

Too much of a good person...

I went to WV with my Brown Eyes to visit his friends still in Morgantown. I had a great time and I met a lot of great people. I couldn't help but reflect on the many great people I had left at home. I never imagined that when I would move back from CA to OH that I would find myself making life long friendships. I never really had close friends growing up; I did towards the end of high school but that's pretty much it. Far as I know, my only best friend was this Irish girl named Deirdre who was in my fifth grade class.

"You can have too much of a good thing"- I think that's the old saying. Well, you can also be too much of a good person. I have found through trial and error my proclivity to smother others with love and kindness had made many of the friendships I have made the past year absolutely disastrous. Instead of getting mad, I get nice. I don't push back, I pull in. So you can imagine when I allow people to say and do things to me that I am not comfortable with for so long that I tend to blow up at a randomly. Implode.

It was after the last explosion I had that I realized that something had to change. I have to tell my friends when my feelings are hurt or when I feel like they are being disrespectful towards me. I can't shrug it off and hope they will apologize in the future. I can't expect everyone to be nice to me. I can't even expect everyone to know when they are being unkind.

So as I type right now, I realize that this may be the biggest flaw I have. I'm just too damn nice. Yes, you probably think that I am tooting my own horn, but really take a moment to understand why this can be a bad thing. By not allowing people to see when I am angry, sad, disappointed, or just plain pissed off- I allow them to become comfortable in a pattern of negative behavior towards me. I allow them to think their actions are ok because they have always been ok. I think that's the worse thing you can do to someone, lull them to think that their behavior is permissible only to reject it later in an explosive argument.

My commitment for 2010? To create healthy boundaries in all of my relationships. No more intelligence jokes- they hurt my feelings, I should feel comfortable being who I am with all of my friends and know that they accept me with all of my limitations attached. I may not care to defend my religious beliefs to you b/c frankly I see it as a waste of time and energy. I like to study 10 hours a day, it may seem irrational but it's very soothing to me. I do like to take care of you, 24/7 if I could. I'd pick up the phone at 3AM and listen to you and commiserate with you. There will be nights where I just want to sit at home and pet the dog. Don't hate me for it.

No more Miss "way too" Nice Gal,

P. Manolos

Traveling Country Roads

I'm in WV with Brown Eyes. I'm meeting his friends and seeing the streets he used to run down naked as a young WV freshman. I guess things are progressing nicely. The big test isn't meeting the parents- it's meeting his closet friends and getting along with them. I think I'm doing okay.

I need a nap. Last night we broke furniture, played beer pong, and helped young underclasswomen get laid. Didn't go home til the lights went out.

Wild and Wonderful,

P. Manolos

Zimba

Haha. He has the funniest look on his face in this picture. He's got to be the most photogenic dog that ever lived.

A year ago, before I began law school, I wanted to buy a dog. My parents and my sister went off on me, telling me how it was such a bad idea. "You won't have time for him, you have to take care of him. Blah blah blah." I must admit, they were right about how hard it would be to take care of a dog. Zimba has had so many doctor's appointments, check ups, surgery (castration) and babysitting needs that I had to take care of all on my own. Let's not even mention how much it costs to feed and house him.

Our typical day together consists of me getting up early to let him go potty outside, eat breakfast, and if we're lucky, go for a jog. I put him in his crate and I feel guilty leaving him for the four-six hours I have to be at school for classes. I come home and we spend most of the evening studying and perhaps even watching tv.

He's got a great personality. Always looking to start a 'puppy fight' (this is when he and I will wrestle each other to the ground and bark incessantly until one of us cries uncle). He goes nuts if you even mention the word "walk". When I'm crying or feeling down, he comes by and licks my tears away and cuddles right up to my chest and falls asleep.

My only fear is the day we have to inevitably part ways. He's a dog, and like all animals, has a short life expectancy of 10 maybe 15 years tops. I think that was my biggest fear getting another dog- going through the process of losing him to old age.


All good things in life must come to an end. The key is to enjoy them while we can.

Puppy Love,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Going out to Sushi with Brown Eyes. I don't know who farts more, him or the dog.



Passed Out from Gas,

P. Manolos

Obsession of the Day

Zimba wore this little outfit for Halloween. He was a good sport!

Shopping in less than an hour!

P. Manolos

Anxiety

Four days until my Appellate Advocacy brief is due. I'm feeling super anxious, I have so many changes to make and so little time. I can't wait to go home and crank this thing out. I just hope Zimba will forgive his mother after this. He's going to suffer from neglect and boredom for the next four days until I can puppy fight with him again.


Anxious Advocate,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Less than six hours until the Cavs game.... six.. whole.. hours....

I can't wait until the Cavs game tonight. It's my birthday gift to my Brown Eyes. He and I are going to sit so close to the Cavs we can smell the sweat on the court. It was pretty much all the money I had for shopping etc, but I would have spent it on shoes anyways. I love spending time with him. We get along so well and when we do have an argument, we always squash it. We never leave each other angry. Did I mention he is a wise, old soul? I love how I can talk to him about absolutely anything and he is able to understand.

Taking the Shot,

P. Manolos

Quote of the Day

Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.

As a peacemaker the lawyer has superior opportunity of being a good man. There

will still be business enough. - Abraham Lincoln.

Just finished my journal draft. I'm hoping I don't get in trouble for how crappy it is. Sigh, I'm so unmotivated these days.

On another note, my boyfriend is fantastic :)

P. Manolos

Thoughts on a Warm Sunday Afternoon

It's a beautiful day outside. Very rare for late October in Ohio. I'm going to take the pooch out for a walk. He and I both need the exercise. I've got everything I could possibly want. A great boyfriend, beautiful home, sweet (but evil at times) dog, and I'm on my way to doing well in all my classes this semester. All the tears that I shed for the past year have finally paid off.

Sunny Sundays,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Shoes

I'm going shoe shopping tomorrow. I'm not going to buy six in one sitting, I'll just pick up a pair of boots or heels or whatever sets my fancy at the moment.

Time and Space

Two things I need a lot of right now.


Law school is the shit that is hitting the fan right now. I just want to skip the rest of the week and spend some time working on homework and relaxing with my dog. I love him. He keeps me grounded and makes me so happy every time he barks at me. I just wish we had more time with each other.


Clock is a tickin,

P. Manolos

Obsession of the Day

Red lipstick. Does anyone ever remember how red lipstick was such an evil thing for a woman to wear? Red lipstick was for harlots! Women of ill-repute! Terrible! Horrible! Red lipstick promotes promiscuity, public indecency and the general downfall of all mankind.

You do, however, know you are an expert at makeup if you can go to CVS/Walgreens and buy a tube of red lipstick without trying it on and pick the perfect shade. I passed that test two weeks ago and I'm still enjoying the fruits of my labor.

Before you shake your head and think I'm crazy, let me explain to you why red lipstick is a necessary part of your daily cosmetic diet. Red lipstick instantly dresses you up for any occasion. If you don't have time to apply layers of make-up, blush, and eyeliner can rest easy with a tube of rich red lipstick.

So, are you intrigued? Well let me give you a few tips on how to wear this classic trend:

1. If you have never purchased a tube of red lipstick, please be sure to stop by a cosmetics counter in a department store and have an attendant help you. Red lipstick is a difficult purchase because how intricate underlying skin tones can change the way the lipstick looks on you. I choose red lipstick with a cooler base tone to compliment my skin color. A cool base also adds the perception of white teeth.
2. Lip liner is crucial- It will help your lipstick color last longer and provides a good foundation.
   
3. Minimal make-up. You don't want to look like a whore.
   
4. Just have fun!

I've got to get back to my real life, also known as law school.

Seeing Red,

P. Manolos

Ten Things

Fall

1. Falling Leaves- I love the different colored leaves that fall off the trees in the fall.
   
2. Sweaters- I love buying new sweaters. I'm also a devotee to sweaterdresses.
3. Cooler Weather- The summer is nice, but I'm all for cool breezes and crisp, autumn air.
4. Apple Pie- I love to bake and apples are in season during the fall.
5. Soup
6. Boots
7. Hot Chocolate
8. Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks
9. Football Games
10. Fall Fashion- The band/military jacket is huge this fall.

Falling in Love,

P. Manolos

Stress

I'm not dealing with it well this year. My classes, housework, dog training, car repairs, and just sustaining my friendships has become exhausting. I never thought I would see the day where I would yearn for hours spent working on homework without interruption.


P. Manolos

Ten Things

Wrapping Up 2009...

Believe it or not, 2009 has come and almost gone. This year had to be the toughest year of my life. I fell into the deepest depression I have ever known, fallen in and out of love, and discovered how much pressure I can take. Here's a list of the top ten things I want to do before the year is out.

1. Paint my bedroom- The blue color is driving me insane. I thought it was soothing at first only to discover that I feel like I'm drowning in a dingy blue bedroom. I'm hoping to paint my master bedroom an eggshell white after appad (class from hell) is over.
2. Get back into a routine- My biggest problem starting the school year is a lack of a daily routine. I'm trying to get back into 6AM workouts, 8 hr study days, and evenings spent with my newest little family member, Zimba.
3. Get the dog socialized- He's a douche, even to his own people.
4. Buy curtains for the living room- This is a pretty big deal. It takes me weeks to decide which color and fabric I want before I decide I'm ok with it. My backdoor curtain took me a month to pick out. I'm super happy with my choice though!
5. Plan my finances for 2010- My New Year's Resolution last year was to curb unnecessary spending. Needless to say, I haven't done that well with that commitment and I plan to work on it again next year.
6. Clean House
7. Finish Landscaping
8. Finish AppAd with an acceptable grade
9. Bible Reading- I have let this slip a bit, I plan to start reading my Bible before I go to bed each night again. I really need God in my life more than the twenty minutes I save not reading my Bible each evening.
10. Love Myself- I'm better than I was a little under a year ago. I've overcome a lot of emotional pain and duress to find myself stronger than I have ever been in my entire life. A wise person once said, "God doesn't allow things to happen to you, he allows things to happen for you." Perhaps all the pain was to make me into the stronger, wiser woman that I am today.

Countdown til '10,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I'm obsessed with the ridiculously luxurious, pricey pair of Louis Vuitton pink and black lace heels that I could never afford in my wildest dreams. Louis Vuitton Cancan Heels. I know I would catch a lot of flies with this honey!

Every Friday I have a standing appointment with my hairdresser to get a shampoo and flat iron. I get a 20% discount this way, so I figured why not, it takes so much time for me to do my own hair each week it feels good to have a pro finish it in 2hrs.

Well, as I sat under the dryer, I had a brilliant thought I wanted to share with all of you. Today I had a choice to read Fed Tax or September's InStyle Magazine. Of course I chose the latter because I had already completed my Fed Tax reading for today (surprise, surprise). When I finished the magazine a brilliant thought hit me like a pair of Christian Louboutin leather thigh heels with Victorianesqe laces and a three and a half-inch heel. It hit me so quickly that I completely forgot and have nothing to contribute to this blog post.

Ha. Ha.


Feeling Funny,

P. Manolos

Julia Roberts

In Runaway Bride.


She looked fabulous, no? Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are reunited again to play the role of two enemies who eventually share a wedding bed. They have to overcome Julia's inability to commit in order to find happiness..


I only mention this movie because I can't help but wish I had a pair of running shoes on right now. I get spooked easily by relationships and the thought of getting hurt again makes me want to fly with deliberate speed. Brown Eyes is great, everything a girl could wish for. But I can't help but worry maybe my cold feet will take flight....

Fancy Feet,

P. Manolos

Milestones

One month.

Brown Eyes has decided that today will be the day we consider to be our 1 month anniversary. We have no real idea when we officially became a couple so we figured let's pick a date randomly and stick with it. Things are going really well. He's smart, sweet, and makes me laugh so hard I almost pee on myself. I had no idea I would feel this way again.

Glass houses and stones, could be sheik,

P. Manolos

BTW- You can tell I care about him, I spent all my savings for a pair of Louboutins on tickets to the Cavs/Celtics game in two weeks. I'm actually looking forward to it!

Thought of the Day

App Ad.

It's a horrible class. It's first year stress wrapped up into one nasty little ball. I thought my whole stress quotient from last year was completely over with as soon as I stepped into 2L year. Nope, it's worse. I'm worrying about finding a job, figuring out what the hell is going on in class, trying to get myself to go to class, and not to mention trying to have a life on the side.

I miss my beau. He's busy working on his paper which is due tonight. I can't complain. Smart, handsome guy working hard to make a future for himself.

Meanwhile, I was so flustered today I walked out in flip flops in 60 degree weather. Did I mention that I didn't even have a chance to straighten my hair?

Stressed,

P. Manolos

Diane Von Furstenberg

... Invented the classic wrap dress.

On a side note, if you have been on Ebay.com, Herve Leger dresses have gone down in price in a big way from a year ago. I'm pretty excited, I'm hoping to purchase one in the near future. Who needs food when you can wear couture?

P. Manolos

Trivia Question of the Day

In 1976, which iconic designer invented the wrap dress?

Stay tuned to find out who. If you know who, please leave a comment. No cheating (i.e. google!)

P. Manolos

Ten Things

2L Year

1. Exhaustion- I am so busy that I never get enough sleep these days.
2. Job Interviews- You are out begging for a job on a daily basis. Did I mention the recession has almost mutilated the legal job market?
3. New Friends- Believe it or not, 2L has allowed me to meet more people in the law school who I never knew existed. It's a great adventure.
4. Harder Classes- I yearn for the good old days of offer/acceptance and consideration. I can't believe I thought 1L was difficult.
5. Super Involved- I'm heavily involved in SBA and BLSA. I think my BLSA position requires a lot more work, but I find it to be very rewarding.
6. Puppy- Zimba is settling into the house. He still has a lot of issues with separation anxiety, but we are finally going outside to potty on a regular basis. He's the love of my life and I am so glad I decided to drive 8 hours to get him.
7. Relationships- My relationship with Mr. Safety has officially ended. My new guy, Brown Eyes, is quickly becoming an important part of my life. He's sweet, intelligent, and probably the funniest guy I have ever met. I can't stop laughing when I'm with him. Let's hope he chooses to stick around.
8. Adulthood- I have 2 more years of school. No turning back now.
9. Wisdom- Each passing day helps me become wiser about life in general.
10. Acceptance- I'm learning to accept the things about myself I cannot change and appreciate the good stuff.

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

It's still 84 degrees outside. It's September. Why can't I break out my fall collection? Because I would die of a sweaty, stinky death in this heat trap known as the Midwest.

Life is good. Just when I decided to swear of men and dating, I meet one that I'm totally head over heels for. He's tall, dark, handsome and did I mention top in our class? There's nothing sexier than a man with intelligence. He's got a big heart to boot. Mr. Safety has sulked off, I still feel a connection to him, but I may have found the man that I need in Brown Eyes. We shall see how long he sticks around. He still has no clue that I do not put out yet... Maybe once he finds out, the countdown will begin.

Be Fabulous or Go Home,

P. Manolos.

Quote of the Day

"Can't you see I'm sick, I've been wearing flats all week"

A surefire way of telling whether I'm feeling well or not is a quick look at my feet. If I'm wearing flats, chances are I'm probably feeling ill. My throat is still bothering me and I've had the toughest time getting my work done for class. Oh well, that's life right? I guess the upside is I turned in a major paper today and I hit a paper topic out of the park yesterday. Good thing, I'll need my Professor's recommendation if I want a clerkship. Looks like all the firm jobs are gone.

Unfancy feet,

P. Manolos

Today's Obsession

I got this in the mail today. It's gorgeous! I am trying to keep myself from buying this in every color.

Obsession of the Day

Or should I say, not disgust of the day.

Who the hell wears a raceback tank top with a scarf?

I'm just saying....

P. Manolos

Poem of the Day

Fantasy

BY: P. Manolos

Inside the chasm of my innermost light

Something stirs my soul to awaken in a start

A foreigner I have longed for in my separatist heart

The feminine responds to the masculine with a gasp of shocked fright

Running, seeping, fleeing and weeping from the night

Senses implode to touch, to feel, to heal, to break apart

My eyes are wide open in fear of this dangerous delight

To suddenly love again, to love without regard to its true art

In bittersweet moments, I weep for the days of safe conformity

The risk of pain, of drowning in the deep recesses of loss

Yet, I crave you and unabashedly embrace this new, unchartered theme

Passion and lust discovered, without thought to carrying a heavy cross

When the tide breaks dawn, I stand alone in a beautiful, strange dream

Picture of the Day

Thirty dollars can get you this huge Ice Cream Sunday. Sigh, It looks so delicious and to think I didn't go to Girhadelli Chocolate factory while I was out in San Francisco this weekend.

Sweet Tooth,

P. Manolos

Validation

Whoa, what the hell?

That's all I could think of last night as I drove home from the night that was essentially from hell. In between my heart racing and my blood pressure pounding, I couldn't help but think that I had finally had enough of being invalidated.

Yes. Kind of like when you go the the store and your coupon expires. According to the store clerk, your coupon has expired due to some justifiable reason, whether it be the fact that it's past the redeem by date, or if it's just a competitor coupon you had no business bringing to them in the first place. The only problem with that analogy is feelings are something intangible and have no value to know one except its possessor.

Well, last night, someone told me all of my life experiences were invalid. I should have seen it coming, I've had skirmishes with theml before, but to have it culminate into a scream fest wasn't something I had on the radar. The whole conversation consisted of the words "judge" and "minor" and "better or worse".

We all have painful life experiences. They can range from a myriad of things - whether it be the mundane falling of a bicycle, or something serious like violence or other forms of physical pain. What we must realize is that no matter what those events may be- they are still painful, life changing events and the pain that someone feels from those events should not be belittled. Yes, we can say we faced worse- but why would you tell another human being that their pain isn't worthy of recognition? Why do we constantly sit and decide who should feel bad and who should feel less bad about something. Here's an even more damning question I suppose, why do we feel qualified to do so?

I drove off in a screaming, crying huff. I screamed because the pain that I felt inside was coming out from every part of my body. This pain was real and no matter what someone else says, I deserve to have it validated and felt. Hot tears streamed down my face because I had allowed someone to get close enough to me to hurt me again. I don't believe in judging the life experiences of others. I know how painful it is to have someone analyze your life and tell you that what you think and feel is worthless. God tells us in the Bible that if we so choose to judge others, we ourselves will be judged more harshly. Yes, there are times where I will slip and think what the hell is wrong with this person? When I find myself in that position, I stop myself and think "what the hell is wrong with me that I think I am qualified to decide if there is anything wrong?"

Don't be the Judge,

P. Manolos

Say A Little Prayer for You

A friend sent this to me. I don't think I will get married, so imagine my surprise when I teared up a bit reading this. I think God has chosen a different path for me in my life. A solitary one.

A Prayer for my Future Husband

Lord God, your Word declares that if I delight myself in you—if I
enjoy and seek your pleasure above mine—you'll give me the desires of
my heart (Psalm 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish
because marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4). At the beginning of
creation, you proclaimed, "It is not good that man should be alone"
and then you created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Genesis
2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that you would protect the
husband—a suitable partner—you have chosen for me. Because the
covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God.
Please give me a husband whose love for me is only outmatched by his
love for you; a man who will cherish me and build me up (Proverbs
31:28); a man who will honor me (I Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows; a
man who will be a good father and provider; a man whom I will be
attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually; a man who will
love me as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Keep me from
attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle
for a relationship that's second best, convenient, or one that feeds
my insecurities. Guard my purity and give me the patience to wait. And
when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one. Release from me the
baggage of past relationships, and prepare m e for the man You have
chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and
godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and
emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for
disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner. In
this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion
and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who
crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good
things (Psalm 103:4-5). I will not be anxious, but as I present my
requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all
understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus
(Philippians 4:6,7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and
do good, to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit
my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35).
Amen
(author unknown)

Today's Obsession

NO. no. NO. NO.

I feel sorry for the poor girl who thought this would be a good investment piece for the fall season. Ladies, just stay away from anything that makes you look like you killed a small, furry animal.

P. Manolos

Picture of the Day

Life is almost as blurry as this photograph I took last weekend. I'm in my second week of school and I feel like this year was even worse than last year. Instead of being overwhelmed by new ideas, I'm sunk by all the work I have to do. I have no clue how this year will turn out.

Exhausted,

P. Manolos

Quote of the Day

"Guts are important. Your guts are what digest things. But it is your brains that tell you which things to swallow and which not to swallow" Austin Dacey.

I'm in the midst of a huge paper due in Appellate Advocacy. I'm also working on my journal acc check. Not to mention all the other classes I have work for. Oh boy, my puppy isn't going to be too happy with me the next few days. He was crying hysterically when I left for school this morning. Wednesday will be the worst for him, I have four classes and won't be able to come home in between them.

Picture of the Day

Law school has begun. Frankly, I'm not prepared for this year at all. I still have books yet to obtain and assignments to read. As I type, Zimba is cheerfully chewing his bone in his bed. He knows that he has to play alone when I sit in the war room. I am pulling articles for my accuracy check right now.

Picture of the Day

My little man, Zimba. He's really grown since I first got him three and a half weeks ago. (he went from 3 to 4.7 lbs) Nowadays, he's scratching at the door to let me know he has to go outside. I never thought I would feel proud of a puppy taking a dump on my backyard lawn. I also didn't think I would fall so in love with my tiny little pup. I often laugh at people who think he's super small because I never noticed, he seems larger than life to me. He's got a great personality and he's full of energy.

Law Review

I made it.

I realize now that I'm a workaholic. I can spend 10 hours in front of a computer working and think nothing of it. In fact, being at this pageant all weekend has made me crave working even more. I hate idleness. I hate sitting around doing nothing. After working billable hours during the summer, I have become absolutely obsessed with time. I am more discerning about how much time I spend on work and people.

My obsession with time is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I am more aware of how I spend my time and invest it according to importance. It is a curse because I know people who live outside of my profession don't understand how I could spend so much time working. I guess the misunderstanding is mutual because I can't understand why outsiders spend so much time not working.

I don't have time to talk about time,

P. Manolos

Picture of the Day

My little man. He slept on my lap during the movie tonight. Who knew love from a four legged friend could be so pure and fulfilling?

Sleeping Beauty,

P. Manolos

Today's Obsession

Dolce & Gabanna Leopard Print Platform pumps. Half the price of a pair of New Christian Louboutin platform heels. Only difference? The label. Only problem? I still want the Christian Louboutin platforms. I'm on a quest to find a pair priced around $400.00. 

Today's Obsession

Let's be frank here. When it comes to finances, I believe in spending more on less. We're all going to die and our savings accounts can't come with us so why not live life to the fullest? I'd rather eat spaghetti for a week than wear knock offs, therefore the must have Chanel sunglasses with rows of pearl agate on the side is my must have of the season. I plan to purchase a pair as soon as my last firm check comes in this week.  I dare not say how much it costs. 

CHANELling my inner Jackie O,

P. Manolos

The Thing

I got a bit of a shocker last night. I was trolling on facebook as I usually do when one of my friends left a comment on my page about my competition preparation. I clicked on his page to return the comment when to my utter disbelief I saw that his status had changed from absolutely nothing to  "In a Relationship with XYZ". 

No big deal right? Well, the only thing is a little under one year ago, I had a crush on this guy. I thought I had correctly read all of the signs he gave me and put myself out there asking him if he liked me too. He said  I was attractive, but no, he wasn't interested in a relationship and definitely not one in the circle we ran in. 

So I was a bit crushed at first. I avoided contact with him only to find myself seeing Mr. Passion. After Mr. Passion crushed ever fiber of my being Casper came back to support me as I mended a broken heart. It was only this summer when he announced to me his strong feelings for a girl that he had only known for a couple of weeks and how he would do whatever it takes to get into a relationship with her.  I didn't believe him, after all he was known for his status as a huge player and for a fear of commitment. He slept with a different woman each week and didn't find anything wrong with his adversity towards love and commitment. You can imagine my jaw drop when I saw that his status had changed. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that someone who didn't really want a relationship had fallen into one so easily or the fact that I wasn't a compelling enough to be the one who changed his mind.

One caveat-  I don't have any feelings for Casper at all anymore. I'm very happy with our friendship. I am, however, confused and left in a daze. So many failed relationships in the past year. My five year relationship with Mr. Safety, my few month relationship with Mr. Passion (who btw is still with his girlfriend of a couple of months) , my short stint with Mr. Bland ( a guy so blah he can't even decide if he wants to be with me or not) and let's not forget Mr. Impossible who after a few dates has left the scene of the crime altogether.

A pattern is  a reliable sample of traits, acts, tendencies, or other observable characteristics of a person, group, or institution ( courtesy of Webster's Dictionary). As children we learned in math class how to discern numeric patterns and categorize them by their similarities. If you say 2, 4, 6, 8 and were asked what should come next, you should respond "10" because the pattern consists of even numbers or an increase by two. 

Had my dating life become a pattern of unsuccessful relationships? Each one relates to the other by failure, and the lack of something that a man needs in order to commit. I find myself at a loss for words when I realize that so many women find themselves effortlessly in fulfilling relationships while I hope that he will at least be kind enough to call me at the end of the day. All of the negative feed back and leaves me to conclude that there is a thing that I lack that most women are born with. 

The "Thing"

That thing that makes something click in a guys head and makes him want to be with her. That thing that makes him think about her every second of the day and gives him the sinking feeling when she doesn't respond to his phone calls or his emails. That yearning and desire they have to nest near them and be a part of their lives- to support them in bad times and celebrate the good.

If we are all made in God's image, then did he forget to install something before I came out of the womb? What is it about me that insures an endless pattern of unfulfilling relationships, heart break, and mind numbing lonliness? Am I broken or did I not enter this world without the thing in the first place?

Well, I'm off to the movies. My sweet puppy, Zimba, is passed out next to me. I hate to wake him up to go for a walk but I want to make sure he has all his needs met before I leave for the evening. God knows I wish I had someone to do the same for me.

SomeTHING is missing,

P. Manolos

The Perfect Man

I had no clue how compatible Zimba and I were until I conducted a little research....

1. Miniature Pinshcers (a.k.a minpin) are known as the single person's dog. They stay loyal to only one or two people in their entire lifetime.
2. Min pins are full of character
3. Min pins are stubborn
4. Min pins respect authority- any lapse in authority and they will take over as leader of the pack over their masters
5. Min pins are loving

Terrorist

This little guy has dropped more bombs than Osama himself. He's my new puppy and his name is Zimba. If you want a dog, I suggest getting an older guy who's already been housebroken. Housebreaking a puppy is beginning to housebreak me..

Level

It's been awhile.

I haven't had much time to blog. In between work, school, friends, and family, I tend to have just enough time to sleep and eat each day. I've started attending a three day a week boot camp at 5:30 AM. I have some difficulty getting up super early, but I'm committed to living a healthier life style and taking care of myself. I have focused too long on the needs of others for the detriment of my own.  My own happiness. I guess that's what the founding fathers hoped each of us would pursue with all of the freedoms guaranteed to us by our Constitution.

Work is my new love right now. I enjoy the intellectual vigors of thinking out a legal problem. The late nights, early mornings, and stressful evenings yield themselves to a sense of accomplishment I have always wanted to achieve in my life. I have spent so much of my time working odd jobs- a receptionist, food service employee, secretary and even a job as a campaign manager. I can't describe to you the feeling I have when I walk into my office each morning knowing someone is depending upon my opinion.

Not to mention the pay check is pretty nice. A hard day at work = a hard day at the mall. I've probably spent most of my check on living expenses, but I have plenty left over to do some major damage. Last weekend, I bought a pair of fabulous patent leather yellow peep toe wedges, coach stacked heels, and a pair of black and white BCBG strappy platform heels. 

Love is still a work in progress. I still dream of having someone special to share my life with, but I realize I need to change my approach. I attended a relationship seminar where we discussed five levels needed for a stable relationship. 

1. Know
2. Trust
3. Rely
4. Commit
5. Touch

I must admit I had tears in my eyes when we discussed relationships. I think the reason why I feel so attached to Mr. Safety is because he systematically achieved every single level without skipping a beat. He got to know me inside and out before we established a circle of trust. Once we knew we could trust each other we began to rely on each other and create a lasting commitment to our joint happiness. The beauty of achieving the first four levels is finally being able to enjoy the last one, touch. 

I think American culture focuses too much on the last level. Music videos, television shows, movies, and even our school ciriculum focus on touch. It's as if the feminist revolution that freed women from the slavery of endless childbirth also released men from the need to get to know a woman. Who needs trust when you can have a one night stand? You can't expect a man you sleep with one day to rely on you the next. Nor should any woman believe that to touch a man is the same as getting to know him.

Maybe that's where so many relationships went wrong. We were always in a rush to have it all- commitment, trust, and reliance- but we never stopped to take the time to enjoy the stages of each relationship develop and evolve into something real. I can't tell you how much it aches inside to find that something real. 

MIA

It's been a while.

Work has consumed most of the time I have for blogging. :(

Ten Things

Why I Love My Job

1. I get my own office with a name plate
2. I have a secretary who is probably smarter than me
3. Free expensive lunches ever week
4. Interesting assignments
5. I no longer have to do the dishes or answer the phone
6. People care about my opinion... scary but true
7. I get to wear a suit when I want and something business casual when I don't want to 
8. I get paid hella money 
9. I have a chance to move up on the corporate ladder
10. It's my dream come true

I'm sorry I haven't stopped by in a while. Work is pretty taxing, I work around 50 to 60 hours a week. I wouldn't change it for the world but I know it has changed my life. I spend more time working and sleeping than going out with my friends. I guess the only thing I really miss right now is having someone to share the success with.

Working Hard for Da Money,

P. Manolos

Did I mention I bought six pairs of shoes for work? 

Ten Things

Bad Habits

1. Dirty dishes- I'll leave them in the sink for at least a day before I get to them. Mr. Passion hated it when his roommate did that. I just get too busy to do the laundry.
2. Forgetting Something?- I hardly remember what I did last week let alone yesterday. I'm not huge on the memory department. Strangely I retain all academic information, but regular life events escape me. 
3. Omgsh Shoes- I'll buy a ton of shoes and not think about it the next day. It's getting to be a very expensive habit. Almost like crack, but not illegal and the only health issues you have to worry about our warts and callouses.
4. Sensitive skin- Not in the traditional sense, but I can be quite sensitive to the emotions of other people. 
5. Anger issues- I can't really get angry about anything. Even when I'm upset I'll start laughing really hard before I cry about something. Just something I picked up from my parents.
6. Too Trusting
7. Too giving
8. Impatient

Can't really think of ten things... I'm a bit tuckered out tonight, I had a long day of classes and an intense work out. 

Feeling fine in '09,

P. Manolos

Lead Us Not Into Temptation....

Mr. Impossible.

My token guy friend and I discussed why Mr. Impossible is so, well... impossible. He told me that Mr. Impossible had perfected the technique of known as 'womanizing'. He knows exactly what strings to pull and when to let them go. I've been going crazy of him for a couple of months now, his vagueness, inability to commit and the pressure for me to do all of the "hey let's go out" plans. 

About over a month ago, I let go of Mr. Impossible. It was after I literally sent ten messages bitching about his lack of interest and his avoidance of spending any time with me. He would act interested and then disappear, giving me ridiculous excuse after excuse about how busy he was, how he was visiting family, etc. He even made up a great story about how his mother was in town on the same day and time we had plans to go out... two hours before my date. Not only was I dumped that evening, I had spent hours washing my hair when I could have just grabbed a carton of Dublin Mudslide ice cream and watched reruns of Sex and the City.

The Bible teaches us to stay away from temptation at all costs. The things we supposedly cannot live without- money, fame and men, are in fact traps the devil has created to snare us into an eternity filled with fire and brimstone. If you restrain from chasing after temptation, then you will reap the ultimate reward of cashing in on a small condo in heaven. Fail to resist temptation, and you'll end up in real estate hell.

With a push of the button, I gave into temptation today. After months of resistance, reminding myself that the guy is a total douche bag, and even indulging in a bit of black feminist rage, I wasted it all on one single word sent via IM:

Cleveland?

Sigh, how many Hail Marys do I need to absolve myself today?

P. Manolos 

Moment of the Day

I was late to class today. I've been late 3 times in a row to this class for a variety of reasons. As the professor handed back my homework, he whispered sternly "2 o'clock'.

Random Acts of Rudeness

I have to wonder why anyone would take the time to point out the obvious. That I was late to class, ten minutes late. In the way he did it too was pretty petty. To think, this person spent a few years on the outside and realized he or she was a terrible attorney and wanted out by taking a job teaching students how to "click here" on a website.

That was my rant for the day. Now, I actually feel sorry for the person. His life isn't a walk in the park. He or she would probably would much rather take a walk outside or go on vacation than sit around discussing which button to click. Hell, he or she might be a bit upset about what a crappy weekend they had and me being late to their insignificant little summer course may have been the icing on the cake. He just had to let it out somehow and why not stick it to the kid who shows up a few minutes late each day.

Tag, you're it.

P. Manolos

Couch Potato

I have class today. 

I honestly just want to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing today. Not a chance.

P. Manolos