Life Isn't Fair

Have you ever heard that saying from your parents? "Life isn't fair." They usually give this response when we do all the right things, but come up with an unfair result. Like when we practice really hard for a sport but still end up losing the game or studying for a test and still ending up on the lower end of the grading scale.

Well, that's because "Life Isn't Fair."

Last weekend marked one year since my run in with Mr. Passion. All of the good times, bad times, and my eventual breakdown happened around this time last year. The family drama, the broken friendships, and my broken heart all seemed to center around the holiday season. It was around this time last year I had to grapple with my own feelings of how life truly wasn't fair. I had done everything I could to make my relationship work with Mr. Passion, my family, and my friends only to find them shattered into a million pieces. In February, the unfairness factor seemed to rise as I saw Mr. Passion move on into a new relationship with someone else. I can't be angry at her, she had no part in what happened between the two of us. I have times where I wonder why the hell things are working so well for them and our relationship was a total failure. I can never let the feelings of resentment and bitterness overwhelm my inner knowledge of what is right and just.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that life isn't fair.

Things don't always work out in life- friends, boyfriends, classes and even our ongoing relationship with our parents. It's not that we didn't try hard or something is wrong with ourselves per se- it's just how life tends to unravel itself. Bad things happen to good people and bad people can enjoy the goodness we seem to lack in our lives. It is when we start to internalize feelings of inadequacy from our life experiences that the unfairness becomes a roadblock instead of a roadside attraction.

A year later, after all of the tears, life threatening thoughts, and resentment towards third party bystanders, I have found myself in a place where life is a bit fairer. I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and is everything a girl could ask for. He is intelligent, kind, funny, and an absolute sweetheart. I would have never found him if I had kept all of anger I felt towards Mr. Passion and his new life inside of me. I don't think I would have been open for new opportunities had I not let go of the feelings I had towards him.

I have to let go, but I will never forget. We should never forget the pain we experience in life. We should be able to understand it, embrace it, and express it when the time is appropriate. I do have some anger towards him and the gift I lost during our relationship. Rightfully so, any woman in my position would feel the same. I do however, feel sorry for him in the fact that he has no true understanding of the reckless, cold hearted, and borderline evil actions he took last year.

Each day is a new day, and with it I let go a piece of the past to grab a hold of what is thus far a very bright, and fulfilling future. Good things happen to bad people, but bad people have one thing that they will discover in the end. Life isn't fair after all...

Your Fair Lady,

P. Manolos