Validation

Whoa, what the hell?


That's all I could think of last night as I drove home from the night that was essentially from hell. In between my heart racing and my blood pressure pounding, I couldn't help but think that I had finally had enough of being invalidated.


Yes. Kind of like when you go the the store and your coupon expires. According to the store clerk, your coupon has expired due to some justifiable reason, whether it be the fact that it's past the redeem by date, or if it's just a competitor coupon you had no business bringing to them in the first place. The only problem with that analogy is feelings are something intangible and have no value to know one except its possessor.

Well, last night, someone told me all of my life experiences were invalid. I should have seen it coming, I've had skirmishes with theml before, but to have it culminate into a scream fest wasn't something I had on the radar. The whole conversation consisted of the words "judge" and "minor" and "better or worse".

We all have painful life experiences. They can range from a myriad of things - whether it be the mundane falling of a bicycle, or something serious like violence or other forms of physical pain. What we must realize is that no matter what those events may be- they are still painful, life changing events and the pain that someone feels from those events should not be belittled. Yes, we can say we faced worse- but why would you tell another human being that their pain isn't worthy of recognition? Why do we constantly sit and decide who should feel bad and who should feel less bad about something. Here's an even more damning question I suppose, why do we feel qualified to do so?

I drove off in a screaming, crying huff. I screamed because the pain that I felt inside was coming out from every part of my body. This pain was real and no matter what someone else says, I deserve to have it validated and felt. Hot tears streamed down my face because I had allowed someone to get close enough to me to hurt me again. I don't believe in judging the life experiences of others. I know how painful it is to have someone analyze your life and tell you that what you think and feel is worthless. God tells us in the Bible that if we so choose to judge others, we ourselves will be judged more harshly. Yes, there are times where I will slip and think what the hell is wrong with this person? When I find myself in that position, I stop myself and think "what the hell is wrong with me that I think I am qualified to decide if there is anything wrong?"

Don't be the Judge,

P. Manolos

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