Looking Back, Walking Forward

Happy.... New..... Year...

Happy+New+Year

Happy New Year?

I don't know how I feel about 2009. Frankly, I wonder if the whole Happy New Year tradition was made to make more money for corporate America. I especially feel ambivalent about the tradition of New Year's Resolutions. Why do people torture themselves each year with promises they can't possible keep to themselves? 

Looking back, 2008 was a year filled with new beginnings. I began my first semester at law school, I moved back to my home state, I moved into a beautiful 3 bedroom home, I got my first car and I fell deeply in love and lost it all in the span of three and a half months.  2008 wasn't a bad year, but like all the rest of the years past, it had its ups and downs.

Despite my loathing for New Year's Resolutions, I've decided to make a couple of commitments to myself for 2009.

My 2009 Commitments

1. Love Myself

2. Exercise regularly

3. Be organized

4. Get to bed before 12AM ( I read numerous studies that state going to bed any later causes premature aging)

5. Work Hard

Nothing concrete. I think concrete goals can lead to major disappointment. Making abstract goals can boost your self-esteem and allow you to succeed no matter what. Out of all five, I think the first one will be the hardest to stay committed to. I have been so hard on myself my entire life because that is what I was taught to do. My mother/father/sister/brother were all hard on me because they were worried that I was too soft and too naive to make it in this world. They felt that in order to prepare me for the inevitable hardships of life, I had to be torn down, broken apart, and put back together again. 

I no longer feel the need to tear myself down. I'm a whole human being, with flaws, strange habits, and feelings that should be validated as being important and treated with respect. I can't survive on hopes that I will please my family or anyone else that comes along in my life. I can only survive if I learn to love myself for who I am and pray each night that someone will do the same. 

2009 is just another year, except this year will be marked by my passion for myself...and the new pair of Pink sequin Manolos I just bought...