The Opposite of Love

June 19, 1836

Paris

Sunday 19th

My beloved angel,

- I am nearly mad about you, as much as one can be mad: I cannot bring together two ideas that you do not interpose yourself between them.

I can no longer think of anything but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me.

As for my heart, there you will always be- very much so. I have a delicious sense of you there. But my God, what is to become of me, if you have deprived me of my reason? This is a monomania which, this morning, terrifies me.

I rise up every moment saying to myself, "Come, I am going there!" Then I sit down again, moved by the sens of my obligations. There is a frightful conflict. This is not life. I have never before been like that. You have devoured everything. 

I feel foolish and happy as soon as I think of you. I whirl round in a delicious dream in which in one instant I live a thousand years. What a horrible situation!

Overcome with love, feeling love in every pore, living only for love, and seeing oneself consumed by griefs, and caught in a thousand spider webs.

    Honore de Balzac. Love Letters of Great Men, John C. Kirkland

I received Mr. Passion's goodbye letter about a week ago. It was filled with the usual disparaging comments about how I should not care about what men think and how we don't belong together. If we don't belong together, then why is my heart filled with so much love for you? My girlfriends give me the usual advice, he's terrible, you should hate him, blah blah blah. You know what? I tried that, and I felt like hell. I realized that the feelings that I have are ones that I must keep to myself, no one else in this world will understand how much I love this man. It seems crazy and a bit strange for someone to love as hard as I do, but I believe love conquers all. I think he hoped his letter will fill my heart with hatred for him but it actually had the opposite effect.  I only felt sorrow. I felt sorrowful that someone who is in need of so much love couldn't recognize it when he saw it right in front of him. I felt sad that he thought my words of encouragement and admiration made him to be something more than human. I know his flaws, but I chose not to dwell on them. We all have flaws and life would be a miserable spectical if we all sat around and focused on what was wrong with everything. I focused on the good things because that is what made him unique. 

I also realized that the reason why I love him so much is because I know the love of God. God says in the Bible that a man (or woman in my case) should love their spouse/loved one in the same way Christ loved the church. He tells us to love our neighbors and our enemies. If I can love someone who is my enemy, then I can surely love another man with the strength of Christ's love.

Upon further reflection of the past week's events I realized that I cannot travel down the path of hatred and animosity to squash the love I have for Mr. Passion. The opposite of love is not hatred, but indifference. The man that I love does not hate me. To hate would be to feel something negative and abominable. He is indifferent. He is indifferent to why I could love him so much despite all of the stupid mistakes he has made in his life and his past relationships. His indifference stems from his own insecurities and from the fact that he has never been loved by a woman. Every single relationship he has had with a woman involved her own selfish need to get physical with someone when her other relationships don't work out. He's never had a woman who cared about what he was feeling,anticipated his needs, and wanted to share their lives with him.

Imagine how blown his mind was when he realized there was someone out there who loved him for all of his flaws.  

Well, I'm off to do some homework and housework. I'm not going to fill my heart with hatred. If you think I should, well then keep those feelings to yourself because that's not of God and I won't have any hatred in my heart any time soon. I will cope with losses in the way I have always done- loving the people who I have left with all of my heart. And praying for the man who left me. I send nothing but good thoughts his way and I hope that he finds what he is searching for in his life. 

Love Hurts,

P. Manolos

Song of the Day

Lesson Learned by Alicia Keys

(feat. John Mayer)

He broke my heart

And now it's raining

Just to rub it in

I'm at your door

I feel so crazy about it

You'll say I told you so

You knew he had to go

I finally came 'round

I'm back on solid ground

Can't let it get me down

It's alright (x3)

(Chorus)

Yes, I was burned but I called it a lesson learned

Mistake overturned 

So I called it a lesson learned

My soul has returned

So I call it a lesson learned

Another lesson learned

Sometimes 

Some lies

Can take a minute

To fully realize

His tears

Your eyes

Thirty seconds to apologize

You give it one more chance

Just like the times before

But he already knows you'd give a hundred more

Until that night in bed

You wake up in a sweat 

You're racing to the door

Can't Take it Anymore

Chorus

Life ain't perfect if you don't know what the struggle's for

Falling down ain't falling down unless you cry when you hit the floor

It's called the past cause I'm getting past

I ain't nothing like I was before

You oughta see me now.

Chorus

End.

Quote of the Day

Valentine's Day is less than three weeks away... might as well get the love fest started early!

August 9, 1846

Croisset, France

(to Louise Colet)

I embrace you, I kiss you. I feel wild. Were you here, I'd bite you; I long to do so - I, whom, women jeer at for my coldness- I, charitably supposed to be incapable of sex, so little have I indulged in it.

Yet, I feel within me now the appetites of wild beasts, the instincts of a love that is carnivorous, capable of tearing flesh to pieces. Is this love?

Perhaps in my case it's the heart that is impotent.

Gustave Flaubert. Love Letters of Great Men, Vol 1.  by John C. Kirkland

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated..

Hi loves,

I've been working and partying all weekend. I'm happy to say that things are getting better between my parents and I. I think it hit them that I was seriously standing my ground for once. I'm working hard on law school homework, so please adapt to the shortage of fabulousness. I love you all and you are always in my thoughts. 

Oh btw, I guess I need to issue a disclaimer. I don't hold back from you. Yep, so when I have days where I'm in dark Emo girl mode, you will know about it. You will also know about my days where I'm feeling super fabulous. I believe I have a duty as a blogger and a friend to share with you all of my passing thoughts and ruminations. You're not going to agree with everything I say and you aren't going to like a lot of it either. 

Is it just me or does this dress look better on sale?, 

P. Manolos

If I had to say my last words....

Morbid huh?

Why is it so hard for us to think of death? Is it our need to survive or our constant hunger to confirm to the prevailing social standards. It's unsocial, unhappy and unwanted to talk about the one event everyone must go through in life. I've confronted my own fears of death over the past couple of weeks and I have come to the conclusion that I am not afraid. I am not afraid of the unknown because I know how it is to truly live life to the fullest. I have lived my life  by working hard, playing hard, and most importantly loving hard.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 7- The Bible

Treat all as if you may never see them again. Love everyone as you would hope to be loved and never give up on a good cause. 

Quote of the Day

"I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever precious - your heart, your soul. Beauty one could get to know and fall in love with in one hour and cease to love it as speedily; but the soul one must learn to know. Believe me, nothing on earth is given without labour, even love, the most beautiful and natural of all feelings."

Count Leo Tolstoy

Love Letters of Great Men Vol. 1 by John C. Kirkland

Law school is getting a bit murkier. Tons of work, not enough time you know the deal. As usual, I'll let you know when something fabulous happens.

Love Happens, 

P. Manolos

Number 44 :)

Congratulations! 

That's what he said...

(to Adele Foucher)

1821

Paris,

My dearest,

When two souls, who have sought each other for however long in the throng, have finally found each other... a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are... begins on earth and continues forever in heaven. 

This union is love, true love... a religion, which deifies the loved one, whose life comes from devotion and passion, and for whom the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.

This is the love that you inspire in me.. Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels; but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension.

Yours forever,

Victor Hugo

(Excerpt from Love Letters of Great Men Vol. 1 by John C. Kirkland). 

I couldn't hold back the tears after reading this letter. I had spent a long weekend hoping that I could distance myself from the strongest feelings I have ever experienced for a man in my entire life only to find myself wrapped up in the words of another one. There are days where I am the strong independent woman everyone expects me to be. Those are the days where I realize that he isn't coming back. There are days where I'm weak and I have to shed a tear to keep the rest of me from tearing apart. Those are the days where I realize not only is he not coming back, but I am left alone in love. Those are the hard days and those are the days where I love to curl up with a book and read the words of men who felt the same connection I lost in the matter of months. 

I'm human, and I'll be damned if I hear another person to tell me to "let go" or that it wasn't that special in the first place. Who the hell are we to judge when love strikes in the first place? What makes a man qualified to decide whether the love we feel in our heart is real or imaginary? Maybe that is why God counseled us to never judge or 'lest be judge'. At the end of the day, how many of us can stand up and testify that the love one has for another is false? How many of us can burn down the walls of another man's heart without feeling the barriers built around our own fade away?

Frank Sinatra said it best....

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

     Leaving on a Jet Plane, Frank Sinatra (Yea, it's a John Denver song but I like Frank's version) 

I'm off to find fortune, fame, and a good mani/pedicure in SF. I'll be gone only for a short time, I'm flying out tonight and shall return Monday morning. I need some time to think, to rest, and to rejuvenate before the semester swallows me whole. I also need to see someone who is very near and dear to my heart. If I stumble upon something fabulous, you will be the first to know!

So this is what freedom feels like?

P. Manolos

Quote of the Day

Driving away from the wreck of the day and I'm thinking on calling on Jesus. 

Love doesn't hurt, so I know I'm not falling in love, I'm just falling to pieces.....

And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up... on love.... on love

Wreck of the Day by Anna Nalick

I'm way too raw to write today. It's an "I-miss-you-and-it's-killing-me-that-you-don't-feel-the-same" days. I'm looking forward to going home today and going out to bar review this evening for drinks and dancing. At least I'll be wearing something fabulous on the outside.

These shoes' weren't made for walking.... no, they really weren't :)

P. Manolos.

P.S.... I just bought the dress. WAY over my budget! But it's fabulous and I can't wait for it to show up on my doorstep :)

What's on my I-Pod?

Top Ten Love Songs for a Broken Heart

"Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor"- Alicia Keyes, Lesson Learned.

10. Can't Help But Wait- Trey Songz

9. Be Without You- Mary J. Blige

8. Dreaming with a Broken Heart- John Mayer

7. Goodbye My Lover- James Blunt

6. Chasing Pavements- Adele

5. Wreck of the Day- Anna Nalick

4. Tie: Piano Man & Long Distance- Brandy

3. Lesson Learned- Alicia Keyes ft. John Mayer

2. I Will Always Love You- Whitney Houston

1. Ready for Love- India Arie

Overslept

Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care

The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath

Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course

Chief nourisher in life's feast.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth

So, I have been bitching non-stop about how I can't sleep lately. Well guess what? After a month of not sleeping due to the myriad of problems in my life, I finally slept through the night through like a baby. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but you should have met the professional sleeper version of myself back when she was in style. I could lay down and wake up to the next day without even batting a MAC Zoomlash Mascara covered eyelash. 

I should be celebrating right? Ha! No way, not this morning. God was the only person who woke me up. I thought I heard my phone ring but alas, it was my imagination screaming "wake up, you've only got a freakin hour til class! I had these glorious plans of getting up and finishing my readings for today and Kaboom, I'm running around trying to grab a shower before I get into the car. 

Just one more week til the dress of my dreams arrives at my doorstop..... 37 days until the dance! Still no date, but you know what? I am really happy going on my own in my couture dress and soon-to-be-named sexy designer shoes. I'm thinking either strappy pumps or a solid pointed toe 3-inch pump heels in black or..... can you guess? Pink.

Sorry loves, nothing is deeper than the hole of readings I have to dig into today!

Love always,

P. Manolos

Quote of the Day

"I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries." - Theodore Issac Rubin

Tonight's evening will consist of working on law school reading, cleaning house, and if I'm lucky, I can watch my Sex and the City reruns on Tivo with a nice glass of Chardonnay. I have dance rehearsal tomorrow night, so I'll have to fit some practice in their too. Sigh, the life of a budding lawyer is never quiet!

You smell so good! 

P. Manolos

Scared Senseless

I can still feel you.

I can still feel your breath against my neck and the way your brush your hair back from your forehead when your thinking deeply about something. I can see the tips of your cheek bones raised in anticipation when I'm about to kiss you. The slow moan you make when our lips meet is still something I can't get out of my eardrums. Your feet are still about the same size as mine and that's alarming because you're twice my height and a man. I remind myself daily of how you said my big feet were just more of me to love. My senses were turned on to a state of heightened awareness every time you walked into the room. The feeling of being on red alert 24/7 never bothered me. Being away from you bothers me... Missing you is bothering me...

Yet, what bothers me the most is that you couldn't sense me. As we said our adieus and I kissed you goodbye, I fell upon the sword of my own epiphany that no matter how close I inched towards you,  you could never feel the same passion towards me. Yes, my dearest love, you could mechanically activate all five senses, but it was the sixth one I needed the most from you. Looking back upon our unrequited romance, I realize that maybe I expected way too much. I was fighting against the walls you built due to your own life circumstances, and the society that provides the bricks. 

My short years have taught me this about men. Men grow up in an alternative sensory universe than women. They live in an emotional state of darkness not because of nature but because of nurture. "Boys don't cry" and "men don't get scared" is the norm in the good old US of A. They are taught not to feel sad, afraid, nervous, or even lonely because a real man doesn't have a wide range of emotions. That's what women are for, to feel the things in your spirit that are considered a big no no for a real man to comprehend. Growing up, you can imagine the frustration a small boy feels when he is drowning in a feeling and can't communicate what it is. I imagine that a young boy burns on the inside when he realizes the futility of having his own set of unexpressed desire to feel something other than rage or cool neutrality. He burns with anger when he loses his favorite toy, feels depressed after losing a football match, and last but not least, feels despondent when he loses his first love.  If he can't feel emotional, then what he is supposed to feel? Where is he to turn? If he can't feel sadness, then what is there left to fill the void created by the invalidation of all things tearful? I think you and I both know what men are allowed to feel. It is the one thing that society glorifies among all other things a man can possess. The boy who can't express his emotions can at least take comfort that his sexuality is acceptable, if compulsory by the powers at be. It's as if once a boy becomes a man, and feels the yearning of his loins and the depth of his voice, he begins to lose his ability to sense all other parts of his world.

If you have ever observed a man go throughout his day, there isn't one minute of it where he is not in touch with himself. A man can't even relieve himself of bodily fluid without being presented with his pride and joy. The way he sits, the way he stands, and even the pants he selects at the store are all centered around sensing an unrealistic belief of emotional fulfillment through packagism. If his package isn't worthy of USPS Parcel Post, he can at least be comforted with a really big car. I laugh to think of a world where women were socialized in the same manner. Can you imagine waltzing down the street and seeing a woman adjusting her breasts constantly and bragging to men how large and in charge they are? I'm tempted to do so just out of sheer animosity toward society, but cringe at the thought of someone accidentally taking me seriously. 

With all of this talk about the physical, I wonder if that is the reason sex is an important milestone to reach in a man's life. Women have birthdays, first kisses, and senior proms to look forward to, while a man feels whole once he has his first sexual encounter.  Is the only acceptable way for a man to emotionally connect to another human being through physical penetration? Have men become so wrapped up on getting it wrapped up, that they have unravelled their ability to touch another soul through emotional sensitivity and connection? Has modern masculinity sacrificed tenderness, affection, love and an occasional spooning session for the sake of one, insignificant sensory organ? I only wish for a man who can see that there is another sensory organ that can fulfill all of their desires for respect and love that doesn't require an STD test. An organ that, if properly activated, can give fill his soul with something more satisfying than sex. 

The sixth sense is the emotional realm that men seldom understand and even when they talk about it, they hardly know how to take it seriously. Watching men talk about their emotions is like watching two teenagers attempt to conduct open heart surgery. Both scenarios are absurd because usually they have no idea what they are doing. Both scenarios would be amazing if true knowledge of how things worked was behind their respective actions. The number six never even comes up in conversation for a man without a nine following close behind. The pure gap of emotional maturity and stability men and women achieve at different ages and levels is staggering. If men and women exist on two different emotional levels, then will they ever meet? When will we meet in a place where they both connect on such a strong emotional level, that even a man, handicapped from a life without emotional validation, can meet the woman he loves? Even if he gets to the point of channeling his sixth sense, will he know what love is when he sees it?

I fell in love with a man epitomized the trouble with modern masculinity. He was never taught to use his sixth sense. His other senses were awaken by my presence. I noticed his hair stood on end each time I would lightly brush his hand. His pupils dilated when I came closer for a kiss and he could even smell the scent of my Coco Mademoiselle before I entered into a room. Gummy taste of my signature color MAC Viva Glam IV lip gloss? Check. The docile tones of a sigh right before I divided into homework? Another Check.

Hear, touch, see, feel, taste.. all in working order. It was just one last organ that seemed to being suffering from failure and in dire need of a transplant. 

His heart. He was never taught to identify how he was feeling, or even to know that what he was feeling is completely natural. So you can imagine a man, who has never felt loved in the way I felt for him would be bewildered to wake up one morning and find something stirring inside of his heart. Just the thought of us coming together in a higher state of romantic nirvana seemed to unnerve him. I can tell you that he probably thought "what the fuck?", "what is it that I am feeling." Unlike his other senses, this feeling doesn't go away and it never feels the same. He was never taught to identify how it felt when someone truly loved him- the total package, not just one part of it. 

Love. It's a complicated feeling. We all know how it feels to burn our hands on the stove or get an eyelash caught in the middle of the eye. It is a painful feeling that will feel just about the same every time we experience it. Love isn't like getting burned, it never feels the same and the day that it does, you have got a problem on your hands.  It isn't supposed to feel the same with different people. If it did, then everyone would fall in love with just a push of a button. We could simply file a forwarding address with Cupid's office and have the love sent to another residence. 

Even as these words come out onto this page, I can't help but wish this were possible. I wish I could forward the feelings I have for Mr. Passion to another address. Sorry, no go. I love him. For now, I am left with a sensual fantasy of the two of us being able to finally being able to see eye-to-eye, hold hands, share tasty ice cream, and make each other laugh. 

Who knows, maybe if I fantasize enough, he may just come with me to the big Legal Prom next month. (I'm embarrassed to say how excited I am about the whole thing, but dances were always tragedies for me when I was younger. That's another blog entry for another day). Regardless of what happens in the future, know that I will be wearing a killer dress. A dress so killer, it might scare a man senseless. :) 

Quote of the Day

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."

Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gerad Renaldi, Prince of Genovia- The Princess Diaries I

Sorry loves, I've got tons of law school homework and one of my best college girlfriends is coming into town to stay for the weekend. If I come up with anything brilliant, you will be the first to know. 

SWAK

P. Manolos

Quote of the Day

A Man for All Seasons by Robert Bolt

William Roper: So, now you give the Devil the benefit of the law!

Sir Thomas More: Yes! What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?

William Roper: Yes, I'd cut down every law in England to do that!

Sir Thomas More: Oh? And when the last law was down,  and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man's laws not God's! And if you cut them down, and you're just the man to do it, do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil the benefit of law, for my own  safety's sake!

Need I say more?

Spare Ribs

Mmmmm tasty!

This is my penance for not getting up to go to church this morning. That's why I love evening service :).

As you know, I'm going through a tough time in my life. I'm in love with someone who has no love for me, nor will he let me 'in.' I'm a tough cookie,  but I never anticipated falling so hard for anyone in my entire life. My days are filled with rigid routines to keep myself from thinking about how much I miss him. Two hour workouts, homework sessions, dates with girlfriends, book readings, and most importantly, reading my Bible.  I have to believe that there is a higher being out there in the heavens ordering each and everyone one of my steps.

This week, I decided to read my Bible cover to cover this year. Something told me to start with Genesis and end with Revelations at the end of 2009. As I began reading, I found it difficult to concentrate on the whole chapter. My reading basically went as follows:

In the beginning there was (Oh geez I need to make sure I get some work done because my bestest girlfriend from college will be here Wednesday)

And so on and so on. My thoughts kept interjecting into my readings to the point that I was going to give up and re-read the chapter when I encountered the following (keep in mind the Bible often has phrases that are in conflict with the rules of Modern English):

Genesis 2:18-25

Genesis 2:18- And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

2:19-20 (God does a search of the earth with Adam to find an help meet among the beasts of the field and the fowl of the air. Adam names all of the creatures, but alas no help meet was found). 

2:21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

2:22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man

2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man.

2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh

2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

At this point of the reading, instead of having a continuous volley of distracting thoughts bouncing through my head, I had nothing but tears running down my face. The beauty of God's creation seemed to overwhelm me.  I felt relieved to know that the feelings I was having for my lost love were natural. I knew they were natural because God had intended me to feel this way from the very beginning. 

I had, without any knowledge or intent on my part, found myself becoming a part of this man that I loved so much. I desired nothing more than to be a part of his life, to be the help mate God had intended for me to be. It was predestined by the heavens that I would want to to love a man with pure, uninhibited abandon.  The irony of God's method of creating woman was that man was only complete when he sacrificed the bone closest to his heart. He had to give up something in order to find the woman who would complete his life. 

And when he found her, he named her. Adam named her woman because she was taken out of man. He turned to her and knew that she 'the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh.'  He found the missing part that he and the Lord God itself had searched the entire world to find. They searched the entire earth only to realize that the thing he needed the most, a help meet, was right inside of Adam himself. She was his missing piece found in the most unlikeliest place-his rib cage.  They looked upon each other, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. The Bible moves from 'woman' and upon Adam's declaration of her as his equal, she turns into his wife.  He declares that throughout the whole world, she was the only one that completed him. 

They look upon each other naked, and they were not ashamed.

Spare Ribs.

A spare rib created God's most beautiful creation- a woman. A spare rib set the cycle of male-female relationships for the rest of time. We as women love, hope, dream and care for the men in our lives in hopes that one day they would allow us to complete them. In my perspective, marriage isn't the most important end point to reach in a relationship. It is the moment when he turns to you and realizes that you are the help meet he has needed for his whole life. Something inside of his spirit stirs when he sees you and he realizes that there's something about you that makes his chest ache with familiarity. The knowing feeling that after years of wandering the garden of life, he has finally found his rib. 

His spare rib. 

I had fallen in love with a man who had no idea that he was walking around with an open chest cavity. He had no clue that in his life, he would wander this world looking for his missing rib. He would have to take chances and make choices in life that are difficult, messy, and complicated in order to find his missing part. And although I have no idea whether I was the rib or not, just the chance to be a part of his life was something I had ardently hoped for.   I wanted the chance to experience life at his side, maybe it would be for a couple of months or even a year. Who knows the many roads the two of us may have followed. Maybe God had hardened his heart towards me because I was not the one for him, or even a suitable girlfriend for the time being. Do we as women ever know who we are truly meant to help?

At the close of the evening, I laid in my bed pondering the word of God.  I couldn't help but wonder, if God had meant for us to complete man, was the rib he removed a spare in the first place? Or was it something man could not live without? I like to think the latter.

Today's Obsession

JCREW liquid gold-sequin skirt. $199.00 (only size left is a medium. don't you dare rush off and buy it til I get my order in!)

If you're a Sex and the City fan, you've seen a skirt similar to this one in the SATC movie on Samantha (except hers was a high-waist pencil skirt, knee skimming w/o the bow version). Sequins were big this fall and if my intuition is right, they aren't going away any time soon.  Unlike the sequins of the eighties, sequins today are more polished and versatile. They can go from the night out of town to a simple day look like the model has on here. It's also a friendly alternative to the full body sequin dress, something that many girls (except myself 3 years ago for Miss Marin Co. pageant. I looked fabulous!) can't pull off without looking like a drag queen.

My suggestions?

Daytime: Stay simple. A skirt like this doesn't need anything else to sparkle. For a clean day look, wear a neutral colored tank or sweater. Boots can overwhelm the look by cluttering up the lines of the skirt (this baby is meant to move) so try to wear heels or ballet flats.  No fluffy sweaters or heavy shirts that will weight down the outfit even more. Slap a blazer over the tank/t-shirt if you're too cold. Daytime make up should be understated and maybe spiced up with a clear gloss with a warm golden hue. This will draw in and reflect the light of the skirt without looking overdone. 

Night Out on the Town: For night, I suggest a sexy close fitting tank or halter top.  Simple earrings or a nice necklace will suffice for night time accessories. I daresay I would even wear a cute bustier/corset top with this skirt if I were going out in it. Please, don't try that at home because I'm an expert here and I really don't want to be held legally responsible for any fashion violations committed by a rookie.  Make-up should be sultry and over-the-top in the evening- I say this because the lighting at night makes it important to go that extra mile, no one is going to notice your make-up unless you take it up a notch. No, no default smoky eye here. Make-up will be highly contingent upon what top and jewelry you pair with this outfit, so the variables in this case will be endless.  Ask an expert before you try anything risky... 

We don't want you ending up looking like an over-the-top coked out, out of work Jcrew model walking the streets of the city in search for "work". 

XOXO

P. Manolos

Exhausted

Sorry loves. I'm exhausted today. I wish I could say something sassy and witty but the wind has been knocked out of me.  I'm off to watch Sex and the City and pray that I can pick things up tomorrow. 

Hugs, Kisses, and Warm Fuzzies

P. Manolos

Looking Back, Walking Forward

Happy.... New..... Year...

Happy+New+Year

Happy New Year?

I don't know how I feel about 2009. Frankly, I wonder if the whole Happy New Year tradition was made to make more money for corporate America. I especially feel ambivalent about the tradition of New Year's Resolutions. Why do people torture themselves each year with promises they can't possible keep to themselves? 

Looking back, 2008 was a year filled with new beginnings. I began my first semester at law school, I moved back to my home state, I moved into a beautiful 3 bedroom home, I got my first car and I fell deeply in love and lost it all in the span of three and a half months.  2008 wasn't a bad year, but like all the rest of the years past, it had its ups and downs.

Despite my loathing for New Year's Resolutions, I've decided to make a couple of commitments to myself for 2009.

My 2009 Commitments

1. Love Myself

2. Exercise regularly

3. Be organized

4. Get to bed before 12AM ( I read numerous studies that state going to bed any later causes premature aging)

5. Work Hard

Nothing concrete. I think concrete goals can lead to major disappointment. Making abstract goals can boost your self-esteem and allow you to succeed no matter what. Out of all five, I think the first one will be the hardest to stay committed to. I have been so hard on myself my entire life because that is what I was taught to do. My mother/father/sister/brother were all hard on me because they were worried that I was too soft and too naive to make it in this world. They felt that in order to prepare me for the inevitable hardships of life, I had to be torn down, broken apart, and put back together again. 

I no longer feel the need to tear myself down. I'm a whole human being, with flaws, strange habits, and feelings that should be validated as being important and treated with respect. I can't survive on hopes that I will please my family or anyone else that comes along in my life. I can only survive if I learn to love myself for who I am and pray each night that someone will do the same. 

2009 is just another year, except this year will be marked by my passion for myself...and the new pair of Pink sequin Manolos I just bought...