Random Acts of Kindness

It's a beautiful Sunday and I'm in stuck in the house studying for exams. The Spring season is short around here. We tend to stay in Winter for five months and then enjoy three weeks of Spring weather before it turns into Summer. Two weeks ago my car temperature gage didn't move from the lower forties. Now it is 82 degrees outside and unbearably sticky hot. I guess I'm just spoiled from living out on the west coast where the temperature stayed at a comfortable 75 degrees.

I haven't written anything of substance for a while because I'm really focusing on making a strong finish at the end of this semester. Law school is all about sacrifice. Those who sacrifice the most gain the best grades and people who sacrifice the least can at least say they attended law school.

I'm somewhere in between the two factions. Becoming a lawyer is a dream of mine but keeping my life and friendships in tact is also a priority. I realized early on this year that I tend to sacrifice a lot for my friends and family. I love helping my friends and family because I like to know that I made someone else's life better. A false friend once told me I helped people to get things in return. Ha, I guess she was right. I love to help others so that I can get in return the gratification that I made a difference in someone's life. I hate seeing people struggle when I know I could do something to help out. I love doing random acts of love and care for other people because I hope some day I too will experience a random act of kindness. 

If that's wrong, then I never want to be right. I'll never apologize for who  I am. 

A friend of mine had distanced themselves from me lately. At first I chalked it up to school work, but then it dawned on me that there was something more to it. I hadn't heard from them because of a small fight we had about a stupid insignificant incident that had happened in the past. It was so trivial, a good friend of mine told me  it made high school drama seem important. Well, needless to say, my friend came around when s/he needed me. It felt good to enjoy their company again and I felt like maybe we could put that whole silly middle school snippet behind us....

I guess not. I need to talk to them, but after getting their needs met, I find them conspicuously absent from my life. 

I had an epiphany last night. I realized the reason why I felt so connected to Mr. Safety is because he was the only person who made the same sacrifices for me as I do for others. He's always there when I need him and he shares my philosophy of giving for the sake of giving- no strings attached. The only hope we both have is that we can create stronger bonds of friendship with the receiver. I guess I'm afraid that if I lose him, I'll never experience the same random acts of kindness I provide on a daily basis to others. He's the electricity to my gas-electric hybrid Toyota I guess. Without him, I don't know if I will have enough juice to keep being the cheery loving person that I am today. 

I guess I have to find a new source of renewable energy

Out of Gas

P. Manolos