Looking back, Moving Foward

In less than eight hours, 2009 will be history. All the good, bad, and the ugly of 2009 will be ceremoniously put away into a brand spanking shiny new year. Here's a look at the top ten moments of 2009 from my life.

1. Finishing my first year of law school
2. Buying Zimba, my beautiful puppy
   
3. Meeting Brown Eyes
4. Getting a summer law clerk position
5. Reconnecting with lost friends
6. Becoming more confident in who I am
7. Burying the hatchet with Dad- he is now on speaking terms with me, although he still has a tendency to annoy me.
8. Realizing for the first time how much I wish to be a lawyer
   
9. Getting closer to my mom
   
10. Mastering risotto 

I'm off to celebrate the new year with Brown Eyes. Be on the look out for the new blog format coming out in 2009.

IN with the new,

P. Manolos

1. 
   

ABC Nightline Special

Black Single Women Special on ABC


This is a fantastic video. A good glimpse into the lives of African-American women.

Thought of the Day

Five more days until 2009 is over. Thank God, 2009 wasn't exactly a walk in the park.

I can't wait to start the new year. My family has a little tradition where my mom cleans the whole house before the New Year to make sure we enter the year without any of the baggage of the old year. It's symbolism of course, but I can't help but to think it's a damn good idea. I'll probably spend most of next week cleaning my house and working on law school stuff for the new year. On a related note, have a very happy new year. Oh, btw- it's also five more days until I reveal the new blog format.


New Year, new blog,

P. Manolos

Lumps in my Cream of Wheat..

Every morning, I have a bowl of hot, steaming cream of wheat. It's my favorite thing to eat at breakfast besides pancakes, not to mention it's the quickest.

Well, if you don't watch the pot carefully, you end up with huge lumps in your hot  cereal. Not good. I'll eat it anyways for the sake of the economy.

Two dogs, one girl. Sounds kinky huh? Well it's not a porno but a horror story where I'm caught in the middle of a 12 year old toy poodle and a 7 month minpin who thinks he rules the whole house? Let's cut to the chase and say that one of them is driving me crazy and it's not the old lady. Zimba is the constant socialite and is trying to get to know CC. All she wants to do is bite his head off. It must be love.


My lovely lady lumps?

P. Manolos

P.S.- Happy Xmas Eve

What's on my I-Pod?

What's on my I-Pod..........

1. Lady Gaga-  Monster & Bad Romance
2. Rihanna- Whippin' My Hair, Single, & So Hard
3. Kei$ha- Tik Tok
4. Shakira- She Wolf
5. Successful- Drake feat. Lil'Wayne
6. Mona Lisa- Nat King Cole
7. Jay-Z- Already Home
8. Fly Above-Kandi
9. Timbaland- Morning After Dark
10. Britney Spears- 3 (one, two, three)

Called the doctor's office to see about some test results. Must be awesome to be a doctor, you hardly ever have to be in the office and you get to keep collecting checks.

Nightbefore Nightbefore Xmas,

P. Manolos

Today's Obssession

Jersey Shore reality show. Bad television... so bad it's too good to be true. MTV has finally gotten its mojo back with this show. Who knew that Real World would become so passe?

Guidette In Training
P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

There are no jobs.


I received an email from a good friend of mine who recently graduated from grad school (Congrats honey! Love ya!). She is battling the bad economy in hopes of finding a job.  I felt disheartened to hear that she felt that she hadn't accomplished much at all.

When I wrote her back, I gave her the pep talk. I encouraged her to celebrate all of the accomplishments she has made in her life- graduation honors at undergrad, graduating from the top MSES school in the US, and all of the summer jobs she held before and after Dominican. There are so many people in this world who can't say the same thing, they haven't gone to college or finished grad school.

Be encouraged. If you're still looking for a job or in the midst of finishing school, celebrate your accomplishments and see your goals as a challenge and not an obstacle. In the end, life tends to unfold the way it should.

Be Encouraged,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I kind of miss that time when Zimba slept all day after his castration surgery... He didn't have the energy to chew up my oven mitts...

Zimba is pretty sick of all of the work I have had to do the last four weeks. He's acting out by ripping things apart and just being a little douche bag. I just need one more day and I'll have my paper written and the semester finished.



Wrapping things up,

P. Manolos

Picture of the Day

Zimba was such a sweet baby. He sat for ten minutes while I took pictures of him in front of the Christmas tree. I couldn't ask for a better companion.

Happy Howlidays!

Pink Manolos

Thought of the Day

Christmas is next week and I can't get much for anyone. It's just how it is being a student, you have to spend within your means. I'm going to go out with my girlfriends today and spend some time catching up with each other. I then plan to run over to the mall and see if I can find a couple of gifts and then straight home to work on my paper.

Not quite done with law school...

P. Manolos

Grown-Up Christmas List

No, this isn't filled with wishes for peace and goodwill. Just the material stuff.

1. Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel Perfume and Body Set- It's my signature fragrance and they only sell sets during Christmas time.
2. Gift Certificate to Phia Hair Salon- That's where I get my hair done on a weekly basis. 
3. Cashmere Sweater from Jcrew- Black preferably
4. Fuzzy Socks
5. MAC Lipglass in Viva Glam #5
6. Doggie Carry Bag for Zimba
7. Gift Certificate to American Apparrel
8. Harry Potter Movie #6
9. Coach Leather Purse
10. More time with my Brown Eyes....

I'm off to bake some sugar cookies. After all, we only have nine more days until Christmas.


Baking Away,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I'm finished with my exams... timed ones anyways. I just have a paper to write for Friday and them I'm home free. I couldn't even get out of bed this morning I was so freaking tired. Didn't help that Brown eyes kept waking me up in the middle of the night with his snoring. Did I mention I saw the latest Harry Potter? I was so disappointed I didn't get to see it in theaters, but after watching what I saw last night I think it's a good thing I didn't waste my money on it. I can't believe how far away from the book they got on this one. The only good aspect of the movie was the director. Very artistic footage, just sucks that they tore the whole sixth book into shreds.

Somewhat free...

P. Manolos

One Last Time...

In twelve minutes, I get to take my last timed exam of the semester. I've got a paper to write, but I'm overjoyed at the prospect of sitting at home with Z writing about rape and patriarchy.


Thank God,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

I'm pretty annoyed that I haven't hear from Brown Eyes today. On the upside, I'll be half-way finished with law school tomorrow at 5pM. And at 5:05 I'll be across the street at Eddie's drinking my favorite martini and eating a delicious half-price appetizer.


Workin' Hard for the Money,

P. Manolos

Mayfair Lady

I don't care enough about you to kill you. - Mike Delfino

I love prime time television. Among one of the many shows I love is "Desperate Housewives." Thanks to DVR I can watch it whenever I want. This week's (or last week I can't recall, I didn't watch the show when it aired) was the huge finale before the next half of the season starts in January. Mark Cherry told us we would get a plane crash on Wisteria Lane, but who knew the more interesting story would be a middle aged woman stabbing herself?

That story was Katherine Mayfair. Katherine was going insane this whole season after she broke up with Mike when he (surprise surprise) remarried his ex-wife Susan. At first it seemed comical, every Sunday night she hatched a different plot to get him back. She even made a fake plumbing call just so she could get him to come over her house in the middle of the night. Stalking, lying, gossip, whatever she could find she tried to use to get "her" man back.

It all seemed so comical and desperate until last week she attempted to get Mike's kid to believe his own mother stole Mike away from her. Mike was Mr. Nice Guy until that very moment. He hadn't confronted her this whole season, he was the quiet reclusive husband who felt sorry for his jilted-middle aged fling. He finally snapped when he realized the only person that could end her fantasy of getting him back was him.

Well, bravo for him, but never tell a woman it's over when she has a chef's knife in her hand. (It is a large knife and I'm using the correct term- a butcher's knife is wider and more of a square- sorry former knives saleswoman here...) We find out next week that Katherine stabs herself and ends up in the hospital, blaming Mike for wounding her-when the wounds were actually self-inflicted.

Things begin to unravel and Katherine lies in a hospital bed only to find her world beginning to crash around her. Her daughter finds out that her mother lied to her- Katherine was never married to Mike, they weren't living happy together and Susan never tried to stab her. It's in that moment that I realize I don't find this situation very funny after all- it's too close to home to make me laugh.

Why, you say? Because I see so much of the same pain I experienced last year in Katherine and I can understand why she did it. Now before you 51/50 me, let me explain.

A year ago, I too felt a stabbing pain. I felt my whole world crash around me as Mr. Passion left. I too had the future planned out- the holidays we would spend together, birthday cakes I would make and the weekends we would spend holding each other. He moved on and I was still in this place where I felt like we had something special. Even when I knew he was with someone else I just thought maybe things could change. It was like I was my own worst enemy, hoping that I hadn't lost something so precious to such a dirty, callous, horrible son of a.... well, you know.

It was only through time, support, and good friends that I was able to pull the plug and give myself a reality check. I gave myself time to grieve and separate reality from the 'dream'. Each time nostalgia would try to seep in I gave myself a push towards indifference. He is gone and frankly he wasn't that much to be excited about when he was here.

I think that was the only difference between Katherine and I. She didn't have the support of others and enough distance to know when to nail the coffin on her relationship with Mike. If her friends had only reached out to her sooner she wouldn't have needed her daughter to place her in a psych ward. If someone would have stopped to realize her 'connection' with Mike hadn't ended, she would have ended up in a much happier place. Instead her dreams and pain swallowed up the reality that sat before her eyes- he had moved on and married the woman he truly loved as she put her life on hold in hopes that if she waited long enough, her dreams could come back into play.

I turned in my Civil Procedure exam on Friday. I ran up and threw my exam in the box and went back to my chair only to realize I was within five inches of Mr. Passion as he turned in his. And you know what? I could care less. Of course I still dislike him, he was a bad human being for what he did and if karma is a bitch he'll get his in the end. What really amazed me was all I could think about was how Brown Eyes drove to my house and back to get my book, which I had forgotten on the kitchen counter literally 40 mins before my test. My dream come true was a 6 foot 1 catholic boy who would do anything he can to help me.

Moments like that, when I realize how lucky I am to have such a great man by my side make me realize how close I was to losing it all for a sniveling, angry, bitter boy who didn't have the courage to end things like a man.


Not-so-desperate House life,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

If you've got something to say, say it to my face.

That is all. I should have never opened my email this morning. Something kept telling me not to, but of course I didn't listen to the voice in my head. I've got to get back to Zen before my final this afternoon.


Be Aggressive. Not Passive Aggressive,

P. Manolos.

Thought of the Day

This sucks, I'm feeling sick and I have two weeks until I'm completely free from finals. Thus far I only finished my note rough draft, I still have yet to finish studying for BA, Tax and Civil Procedure. FML.


Study AIDS,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Worst day ever.

-P. Manolos

Moment of The Day

One of my law school professors told us even if we aren't where we wanted to be in our careers, we have a chance to get there in the future. (Bad economy = no legal jobs). I couldn't help but cry. I'm not where I want to be, and I hope his advice turns out true and I get there someday.


Teary-Eyed,

P.Manolos

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

* Langston Hughes

I too, wonder what happens to a dream deferred. I'm one of those people who truly believe that dreams are hopes and desires from our subconscious rising to the surface at night. Last night, I had the strangest dream. It was the day of my wedding and I decided to cancel it. Children came to the door and asked if Miss Williamson was still getting married today. My parents told them no, but instead of a wedding how about a trip to Chunky Cheese? Everyone seemed pretty relieved and I was one of the first to hop into the car and leave for the restaurant.

Runaway bride? How could I? The girl who would plan weddings just for the kick of it pro bono has a pair of Nike swishes under her garter? I don't think my dream meant that I don't want to get married. I think something deep inside of me is just saying "Hey, this whole wedding thing can wait, how about some fun instead?" A conditioned response from a society that is hooked on that free love sauce and can't seem to shake the habit- cows not only give milk for free, men don't even have to bring a bucket to get their fill.

Will I get married someday? I don't know and I believe I no longer care as much as I did in the past. Why? The Modern Man of course. The modern man that I am presented today as a husband is lacking everything a man of honor should have in his character tool box. I lament the days of old where men understood how precious a woman's honor was and how they aspired to "have it all" in the form of a three bedroom house with a wife and kids. Modern man is never satisfied with his life, he must have it all at all times no matter how vomit worthy a 40-year old man looks with a 18 year old fetus walking the strip. Its as if all the men of this world woke up one day and decided that aging gracefully and accepting the various stages of life was a repudiation of everything that is good and wholesome about humanity.

Who can we blame? The women of the feminist movement who thought they could fuck like men, live like men, and wake up one day in their own three bedroom house with kids. Magic. Let's just skip the whole no means no and attempt to run with the big dogs at their own sexist game. Little did they know that their freedom to fuck men has fucked many traditional women like myself who wish to keep their honor intact until they can wear a white gown without the guests at the wedding blushing.

Modern man has fucked today's woman because today's woman listened to yesterday's feminist about the virtues of the unlimited fuck. The unlimited fuck has caused me to wake up in a cold sweat when I dream about the children that will have to wait until I am done visiting Chunky Cheese. A woman in her mid-twenties going to Chunky Cheese when she should be figuring out which color the bridesmaids look the worst in. But alas, I like my brother Langston Hughes will chalk this dream up as deferred... until it explodes like a Raisin in the Sun.

Dreaming an Impossible Dream,

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

It's December, already?


Another year goes by. I must say, this year was probably the most tulmultous year of my life. Full of ups, downs, and sideways. I hope 2010 is a much kinder year for me.


Decemburrr,

P. Manolos