When "teh" stupid strikes- How to Avoid teh Bad Cashier

 Yea, that miss-spelling is on purpose. It didn't seem right to spell "the" properly after the experience I went through last night at Kroger.

The is one of those words no one should spell incorrectly. After all, didn't we start out with saying the naturally when we were children? Even before anyone of us stopped pooping in our diapers, we somehow knew that we couldn't get a point across with a "the".

Well, last night "teh" (pronounced "tuh" or "durrr" or durka durka if you will) cashier at Kroger hit me with a hot, steamy plate of "teh stupid". I was just running to teh store to get three things- two dozen eggs and a frozen pizza.

I had two coupons with me, one coupon was the fantastic .55/2 dozen eggs coupon from the Incredible egg website (God bless them, I was able to score two dozen eggs for .75 cents/dozen last night). I decided to go through the self check out because I wanted to just get in and get out, I mean this was no extreme couponing trip for me where I would walk out getting paid money to leave the store. I didn't even bring my binder because I just hoped in my little heart that two little measley coupons wouldn't get me in any trouble.

Well, I was wrong as hell and before you know it, teh stupid hit me like a jilted surburban housewife. I should have saw it coming, I've done a dance with this cashier before. As soon as I finished scanning my items and looked over to see who the "assisting associate" would be, I sighed. I've nicknamed her Cousin It because of her long, shaggy hair that doesn't swish from side to side, but lays against her face and entire body like those giant mats of seaweed that drift onto the beach and you try your hardest not to step in.  Last time the two of us had a dance, the exchange went like this:

Cousin It: Ummmm, excuse me ma'am, we only take 3 like coupons per trip now.
Me: Oh really, I wasn't aware of that. I was hear just a few days ago and I was able to use more than 3.
Cousin It: Well, that cashier shouldn't have done that. I can do separate transactions for every three items, but I can't accept all three for one.
Me: Nevermind then, I'll just get three hand soaps, thank you.

Man was that a clusterf*ck. I spent a lot of time that week going to Kroger 2 a day to get .18 hand soap. With a price like that you stock up as many as possible and wait until they're free again.

So you can imagine my chagrin when she came over and said one of teh dumbest things I've heard in a while from a cashier:

Cousin it: Ummmmmm durka durka durka We durka durka don't take durka durka internet coupons over $2.00 durka durka durka because they tend to be fradulent. I'll have to talk to my errr.... manager.. 
Me: Ummm, ok. (Inside I just wanted to pop off and tell her where to go with the $2.00/1 Digiorno Pizza Q).
Cousin it promptly returned and scanned both of my coupons. "You're good to go honey". Oh yea? Now you're calling me honey?

I did I post a while back on how to verify if your coupon is legit, but for now I'll just give you a few pointers on how to work with difficult cashiers like Cousin It. How to avoid "teh" stupid and get through your shopping trip without a hitch. Here's some points to keep in mind.

1. You will always know more than the cashier- We aren't in Kansas anymore and it's no longer the golden year of 1950 where people made a career out of being a cashier. With the amount they get paid per hour, the grocery chains experience high turnover and attract employees who are less than likely to educate themselves on what a proper coupon looks like or there store policy. Always keep a copy in your binder- I understand the Krogers refuses to distribute a printout policy, but you can find policies posted for other stores like Giant Eagle, CVS, Wags, etc.

2. Ask questions- If your cashier says they "don't take" a certain coupon or a number of coupons, take out your printout of the store policy and show them. If this still doesn't work out in you favor, ask for a manager. I know it feels like you're being a major douche, but this is really the only way the cashier is going to learn and perhaps make shopping easier for the next couponer.

3. If the manager doesn't allow it, you're toast- Yes. Many stores have language in their policies that state "at the manager's discretion." So if they decide they don't want to take your coupon, you can (and should IMO), leave without making the purchase. You should also call the corporate office and file a complaint about the store and describe in detail who you dealt with and which coupon you tried to use. The corporate office will usually forward your complaint to the store and you can either elect to hear from the store manager or decline to do so.

4. If you've got a good cashier, stick with them- I know this sounds strange, but if you find that a particular cashier is very nice to you, then try to plan shopping around the same time they're working. It's okay for a cashier to verify that you bought everything in your bag- that's there job. It's not okay for them to frown at you, berate you, or reject your coupon without justification based on store or the manufacturer's policy. If it's a really hot deal and you've got a few extra Qs, be sure to give your cashier a couple of them so they can score a few items.

5. Be Polite- I can't emphasize to you enough how important it is to just be polite. Unfortunately for couponers, we aren't the average shopper and we stick out like a sore thumb. Being a mean couponer sets the impression to the cashier that all couponers are bickering penny pinching psychos hell bent on making their day a living hell.

P. Manolos

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