Birthday Blues

My birthday falls on a Monday this year. FML.

Birthdays have always been a mixed bag for me. In all honesty, I don't want gifts. I'm more interested in seeing my friends and spending time with them. Let's go out to dinner, have a couple of drinks and just relax. There will be cake with a lot of candles.

This year isn't an exception. I wanted to celebrate this weekend, but I"m finding that my friends won't be available. It's graduation this weekend, so a lot of people will be out and about.

I'll be honest, I'm pretty broken up at the thought of spending this weekend alone trying to amuse myself. I just feel like I put so much of myself out there for my friends that when it comes down to the one day out of the year that I just want someone to stop by and say Happy Birthday, it seems like no one cares. I found myself tearing up at the fact that I'd do anything for so many people, but when it comes down to that one day, I can't seem to find anyone who is available.

I'm trying to be a big girl about the whole thing. I'm no longer in elementary school looking to blow out the candles on a cake. I'm also trying to plan a fun weekend for myself, just myself. Thus far I'm thinking about going to the spa, then to dinner, and then to the movies. I think Zimba and I will go for a long jog on Saturday and then spend some time watching all of my dvr'd shows.

Big girls aren't supposed to cry... but can they get a pass for their birthday?

P. Manolos

Thought of the Day

Working out isn't working out.


Who knew that three weeks before you turn 25 your metabolism would go AWOL. Trying to get back into shape used to be an exercise in moderation and a slight modificaiton in the exercise schedule. After a two weeks of jogging, weight lifting, and yoga- no progress.

What an exercise in patience. Three weeks until my 25th birthday and I still don't see any change.

Breakin' a Sweat,

P. Manolos.

Home

I went home today to help out my parents with housework. My mom is hanging in there, but still sick. She had a doctor's appointment a week ago because of her shoulder. Turns out she had a calcium deposit and was given steriods for the pain. Osteoporosis. It's like she's collecting problems these days. Hysterectomy last fall, heart failure ongoing, and no Osteoporosis. The only bright side was how upbeat she is about life in general. In five months, she will be celebrating her sixtieth birthday. I plan to do something pretty fabulous for her- Pink Manolos Style

There's no place like home,

P. Manolos

Happy Fucking Birthday

Birthdays are the worst days- Biggie Smalls 

Most people look forward to birthdays. The annoying countdowns, birthday lists, and party planning. I however, agree with one of the greatest rappers of all time. Birthdays truly suck in the end. My family has learned not to push the whole birthday thing. Cake, ice cream, and whatever I wrote down on my wish list. Friends are usually absent on birthdays, not because I don't have any, it's because they really don't give a shit about my birthday. 

It doesn't help that I had a dream about Mr. Passion last night. It was one of those alternative ending dreams. You know, when you buy a movie on DVD they sometimes slip in the alternative ending. What would happen if X, Y or Z occurred? Well, last night I had the alternative ending dream where X, Y, Z didn't occur.  I hadn't written that shitty letter, he never left for home without saying goodbye, and he never took that skank to prom. Would things have worked out? Would I be planning my birthday with my boyfriend? Or would things have unravelled eventually? So many questions, so few answers. At least I'm at the stage of acceptance, denial was one helluvah drug. 

I just want to crawl into a hole this year. A hole as in my four poster queen sized bed.  The closer my birthday gets here, the more I detest the 22 years I've spent on this earth. It just seems like birthdays are dirty reminders of all the mistakes we have made and how small we really are in this world. The broken relationships, failed adventures, and monotony of the human existence will continue on. Happy fucking Birthday!

Let Them Eat Cake,

P. Manolos

P.s. I haven't had my morning coffee yet.... 

Ten Things: Birthday List

My Ultimate Birthday Wishlist

1. Tiffany's charm bracelet- all the yuppie kids have one!
2. Bright Pink OPI Nail Polish - My only bottle of bright pink nail polish has gone sour
3. Date with a really sexy guy, preferably tall dark and handsome. 
4. Refill on my Chanel Coco Mademoiselle perfume lotion/body wash
5. A puppy- Male Miniature Pinscher named Brutus
6. Steve Madden Black Gladiator 3-inch pumps in a size 8.5
7. Pink trench coat
8. Apple I-Phone
9. Anything pink and obnoxious really...
10. A good time with my friends

I'm excited about my birthday.  NOT. I wish I could say that an actually mean it... Birthdays are usually quite stressful. I end up finding out how much people know and care about me and how much people know but don't care about me. Strange that such a happy occasion could become such a circus. Ah well, my two close buddies from law school are celebrating with me, that's all a girl needs.